Time is running out for me... The N Levels are around the corner. Just less then two weeks and I going to take my first step to hell. I have not prepared my things yet. All the revision in the school is making me feeling so exhausted. Gosh, I really hope that the exams would end earlier. However, I hope when I get back my results, it will be a good sign, not a bad one... Oh I hope...

Meanwhile, this week is truly horrible for me... really don't know why. Firstly, I get a scolding from Ms lee. Why? It's because I did not pass up my history source base. She said she did not expect me to do such a thing and she said only she is the one, who felt the urgency for the N levels and not us. I really feel the urgency about the N Levels but I'm too exhausted to continue. I have been 'sick' on that day, as I have done too much source base this week. But, I really felt sorry for her, for her contribution and hard work towards us. I really apologize to her while on the phone. During the conversation, the only sentence that came out of my mouth was, "Sorry, Ms Lee". Don't know why. Maybe I'm do not know what to say except for sorry or that's the only word that I can tell her.

Sion and his mother again quarrel on Wednesday. I really don't know what happen to both of them but the problem is solved anyway. Before the problem is solved, many of us in 4N3 wanted to help Sion. Even those people from 4N2, maybe known as extras but they also felt concern about Sion's matter. Anyway, the rest of us quarrel after Sion left for home. That's because the rest of us wanted to help Sion, especially me, who wanted to confront Sion's mum. When the rest did not agree with me, I felt that they seemed to be scared. Maybe I did not think of other ways but felt that this was the only solution to the problem. However, after we quarrel about the matter, I finally cool down, knowing why I'm sort of foolish. I believe that some actions that we done, we should not regret about it. When you think of the better solution of the problem, it would be too late to solve the problem. Anyway, I'm sorry for that day for being too unreasonable. I will try to control my temper. As for Sion, we really hope you and your Mum would not quarrel again. Family is still the best people that you can click with. Without your friends, family members would be by your side, supporting you. So don't quarrel again... Must relax... hehe...

On Friday, I saw someone who I had never met since last November. She still looks the same. That person was my ex-state, Pei Fen. She still looks the same and she was the one who called out my name. At first, I was shocked for a moment but I just say to her, "Hi". I did not talk to her after all, as many boys were around her. Sometimes, in my heart, I really miss her a lot. Don't know why. I'm still concern about her. Every time when I chat with my cousin, I would ask whether did she saw Pei Fen. In the end, the reply would be no. Now, I don't mind whether she mix with who. I just hope she would be happy with what she is doing and the people she mixes with. That's all I can do for her, as a friend, as a 'brother'... Haiz...

Well, that's the past. There's no turning back or to cry about. Right now, I must concentrate with my studies. To the rest of my friends taking the N Levels, good luck to all.. Time to rest now.. Haiz..

Yes... After one whole tiring and sickening week... THE PRELIMS ARE OVER!!!!! Wow.... Now I feel much more better... hehe.. Anyway, the examinations are making me sick these few days... especially History and Chinese... The subjects are quite hard and I got some problem. The bad news after the Prelims is trhat I have Ms Lee's lesson tomorrow, whch is Saturday. Thought that we would have a nice break after the stress that we had been facing this week, but I was wrong... Gosh!! The hall is so stuffy and the heat was unbearable for me, seems like I gonna be a roasted chicken after each exam is taken. The worst is still to come.. Heard from Jack that Ms Lee said the boys History sucks... Why? Easy, because most of us fail... Worst of all... No one tell me that we should not study L.O.N. chapter... I only get tio know about the news after the History exam... What the hack... i was the only... and I mean ONLY.. one who did L.O.N. in the History test. Now I'm waiting for my dooms day tomorrow.. really dont know what will Ms Lee be saying about me..

Well, seems like things aregetting better. Yun Ting now talks to me... But not Chris yet.. However, Alvina, who is in the same class as chris, told me that Chris have forget the incident, which means she forgive me... Thats sounds good news to me but I'm still not sure... really get the pressure to see Chris as I still dare not see her or even speak to her.. even a single word. Hope I realy got the courage to talk to her... When the first time I tak to Yun Ting after the incident, I was not like myself... Still the same as before... Quiet... but feel very concern about the two young lads.. because I still care about them.. Really wanted to talk to them.. seems like we have alot of things to catch up with each other... hehe.. but I will still obey my promise.. not to step to e band room till 30th of August... wow... during these weeks... when i walk pass the Band room, really miss those guys.. even though seeing them in school... i really miss the music we played together and most of all... my dear 'Wife.. okay... its my Tuba... hehe...

Today is my bad luck... because i fall while I run... Nice shot... The floor is wet due to the rain.. I try to run but cant stop myself from running too fast. In the end... I slipped and fall on the ground... ouch!... however, this is not the end yet.. I still slide all the way from the entry of the canteen to the stairs next to the canteen... Now thats 'cool'... My butt is still painful... Hope it can be heal sooner... Bo Shen, also knwon as 'Mushroom' still say I'm the pro-skater, who slide all the way... just like Elvis Presley... Man... what a day indeed... Well thats all for today... Gonna go now... Hope my eam swll be good... Really don no i will survive for the next week to update my blog again... Haiz... got to go now...

Finally, Singaporeans get to celebrate National Day today. Most of all, people get to watch the parade at the stadium. Of curse, i not watching the whole show at the stadium but at home. However, I can feel the heat of the celebration. WOW!!! Most of all, the song, "Home" by Lin Jun Jie is still the best. After the whole parade, its time for "Singapore Idol". quite funny as the actions and the voices that you heard from the show, one's an Oprea singer, another a William Hung wannabe... strange right, but thats human's behaviour... hehe... Today is quite alright. While for yesterday, I and some friends, went to City Hall to catch the fireworks, actually I wanted to watch 5566 but too much people around... we only saw a small part of the whole fireworks, thanks to to hotel, blocking our view, GOSH!!! Never mind, I did watch the fireworks during the preview so thats no big deal with me...

Even though today i have nothing to write about, i just wanted to tell all my dear friends, Happy National Day!!! Even there are sweet memories to those people celebrating in the stadium, there are also bad news fr them. This thursday, 12th of August, PM Goh is going to step down. most of all, the stadium is going to be demolish, making a new stadium in Kallang. This proves that every event comes with an ending. Thus, we must take every to cherish everything you got. Once its gone, you will not be able to retrieve it back again. Is there any way where we can enjoy life in a better way, forgetting our troubles and fear??? well... no... we cant, because without these factors, we would not know the true meaning of life. This might be the possible and only way of having the thrill in life, perhaps...

one more thing before i'm going to say bye bye... hehe... To my dear friend, Jasmine.P., i have put your name in my blog and I have read your blog. Your blog is interesting and quite nice. But i cant put my comments in your blog because there is no tag board... never mind, but just want to tell you that you shouldnt cry often for no reason. Must be happy always, then troubles and stress will be away from you... hehe... Hope you dont get angry for my remark.. enjoy the holidays..

This song looks familiar huh... yeah, this song is by Kit Chan, who would be singing it on the National Day Parade in the 9th of August this year. However, this year, it would be Kit Chan and lin Jun Jie singing this song. wow, it would be great to listen both talented singers to sing this song; ones a romantic, another is R&B type. Gosh! So everyone, enjoy the whole event and sing it out loud... Happy National Day...

Verse 1
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore


Chorus:
This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where that river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home


Verse 2
When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore


(Chorus X 2)


For this is where I know it's home
For this is where I know I'm home


Song title: Home Singer: Kit Chan; JJ Lin Jun Jie

Tension is raising up at its peak. Just less than 2 weeks and it would be our Prelims for 'N' levels. Oh my, thats a major blow for all my classmates, erm... except for some. However, I still hope I would get good results for all my subjects, whether its the Prelims or the actual 'N' levels exams. Lets hope it would be running smoothly for me, as well as my classmates. Ah... These crappy exams stuff is making everyone to go nuts. Lets hope none of us would be in the mental hospital... hehe...

Anyway, the problem between me and Yun Ting seemed to have a slight change. it seemed that she was not angry with me right now... just a little. it seemed the only problem I had was with Chris. I could feel that she still detested me. But still in my heart, I really felt sorry. I do know sometimes words could not be replaced by actions. So, I'm still using the same solution; time, which would be a better way of making peace with her. I really missed what both of us shared together last semester. The joys and the sorrows... However, its too late to do so. These are memories, which could not be replaced. It only can happen once in your life time. You will not get back the same memories for a second time. The feeling will be different from the first time, so nothing would be able to replace this kind of feelings. so to all my friends, do cherish what you got each day, whether its a blessing or a sorrow. Try forgetting these sorrows to brighten up your day. Enjoy your daily life preciously because you would not know what would happen to you next, or even the people who are close to you... i type this because I once lost something; a precious friend, who i know him only for three days... Amazing right, but try ask the students of Class 6/3 from Ahamd ibrahim Primary, then you would know whether the story is true... or not...

Today, we celebrated National Day in school. The whole event was amazing, especially the Band. Even though i'm from the Band, I felt that they were the best. from a Band, where they would be placing their butts on the chairs to standing up, marching in the parade. They had put in their efforts in the whole event, I know... So there is one message for the Band members, 'You people rocks!!! Give your best shot at all the performances, you people are not weak after all.' I would always support the Band, at all means. Before closing off, jut wanna wish everyone, whether you are a Singaporean or not, if you are in Singapore on the 9th of August, Happy National Day to all of you.. Got to go... enjoy the days...

This is for my dear friend, Sagarika... Just wanna give you the lyrics for 'Endless Road'... So do sing with the song... Have fun...


The truth is tearing up my heart I can't recognize this place
The endless road without a stop sign Can't even find a stranger this time

Chorus
Why am i still holding back my tears In this loneliness there's nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder How we could be together
Every time i ask if this would be the last
Why am i still talking to myself Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper
How do i get out of this I think i never will


A crystal forming in the eye Maybe this would be the last
The winding pathdown my face Till i begin to taste the bitterness inside

Chorus


Song Title: endless road Singer: J J Lin Jun Jie

This week is quite terrible for me... I have to face Chris and Yun Ting, in a different angle this time - Strangers. This is consider a major blow for me... What really happened that led to this??? I really do not know about it... I know it should be my fault for what had happened last week... but I hope, really really hope, they would not be angry with me. Whenever i saw them, my heart would be pounding hardly, where I fealt fear within me. on friday, seeing Chris talking with james outside the F&N room, made my heart sinked. I felt numb. The numb is making me feel uncomfortable. cold sweat started to drip down my cheeks, and I do not know what to do.. to avoid them or try to explain... But explaination seemed to be not important to them. so that is why i have decided not to step into the band room from now on... till 30th of August, which is on Jack's birthday... Maybe you people may think I'm a coward but I prefer time to be the best solution in healing the wounds in our hearts. Especially mine, there is an emptiness in my heart, where it seemed that something is amiss... hope they would one day forgive me...

While another thing hapened to my dear friend, Sagarika, who was losing her interest in History, after being criticised by others. Saga, actually what you should do is to be yourself. dont think too much. believe in yourself that you can do it. I dare to bet with my last penny that you will be able to get an 'A' for History. If you can get an 'A' for social Studies, I knew it that you can get the same grade for History. Do not give up, i will be your friend, always, who will help you when you have any problems or diffficulty. I do agree that getting an 'A' is hard for you but have more confident in yourself. I knew you can do it.

Lastly, I'm really glad to go to the NDP Preview with Eugene and Bo Shen. we did enjoy the whole show, especially the fireworks and the singing done by my favourite singer, JJ, Lin Jun Jie. I knew that no one can compete with this talented person... Anyway, thanks for bringing me along, Eugene... This will be one of the best memories that i would ever had. while for Bo Shen, thanks for the joy you bring for us on Saturday. Glad to have you with us to celebrate the day. Wow, this week surely gives me good and painful memories. I also learnt a lesson - Hatred is the factor that led the intention of hurting people's feelings. The only way to have less hatred in ourselves is by having wisdom. with wisdom, hatred will not be in your life. Happiness would then take over hatred, making life better. So, to all my friends, hope wisdom will always be with you, not making hatred to take over you... Got to go..