This week is truly amazing... Studies... Work... Blah blah blah... Very tired to get myself alert... Alert of all the exams that are around the corner... Well, I really get too serious for this week... I know that i have a wedding to attend, which was yesterday. I really 'enjoy' the wedding... Truly... With abit of sad memories... still kept in my head...

Well I get to practice these 3 songs for the wedding, where I'm suppose to do so. "Zhang Xin" by Wu Yin Liang Pin, "Men Mei Suo" by Pin Guan and "Jiu Shi Wo" by Lin Jun Jie... I practise very hard for tehse 3 songs and on thursday, thanks with a little help from the karaoke 'O' key tuning, i lost my voice on friday, on the actual day of the wedding... GREAT!!! Now I guess I cant put up a good performance. It really piss me off... consider a major blow for me... Haix....

During the wedding, more things got worst. My partner; Yong Hong, and I do not have seats for the wedding dinner. This is getting funnier as time flies by. As soon as I got up the stage, lucky there's a professional singer, who is the same age as me, called Pei Fen, she helped to introduce me to the audience. however, by then, i lost my courage, my confidence in my singing. Its because she had sang before us, and her singing ability is " EXCELLENT ". I cant believe it!!! Excellent was the word found in my dictionary for her.

So, I started singing my first and second song. Well... Horrible!!! I cant believe it... My voice, getting worst as I go on singing. The audience, getting tired of my singing. i know that its not the nature of me singing like that but too bad, I lost my voice. As I sing, i lost my confidence... everything. After the second song, i was about to introduce my partner but was rejected as I need to get off the stage first... For the champangne celebration... As i walked down, I was rather piss off than having a toast with them. Really... I cant believe that i attend the wedding!!!!!

We got to seat with other guests that i do not know them. After my partner and i sang the song, we went back to our seats to eat the food. I still can recall that my singing for that song was much better than the other two songs. however, Yong Hong did ruin some parts of the song, especially when he holds the microphone too near his voice... and yeah... I dont feel like talking about it right now... Haix... It was terrible. After the food, we sat at there and 'enjoy' our meal. i promised myself to leave the hall after 15 mins and I did. Well, i also did saw my singing teacher and he praised me for my good singing. Even though i smile to him, my heart is cracking. I lost hope right now. I dont believe that i can sing quite good now. Yesterday was a total disaster to me... Really...

I feel like I'm going to burst out of tears. The pain is still in my heart, till now, and it will not be going away. I lost everything; my hope for singing, for entertaining, my dreams of being a singer, my power to stand on the start, my voice... EVERYTHING!!! GONE!! OVER!!! Thats it... I really cant embrace myself back again... Gues I need more time or so to get back to my feet, or even, will not sing again... for the people, for my career, for my dream... gosh... Its totally a lost of hope for me... haix...

Luckily today... I went out with Yun Ting and Cynthia Goh... I really enjoy myself, just too tired to do anything. I lost my voice right now... So, I dont think I can speak properly right now... Guess, I need to rest more... Bye...