what a match... nearly kills me through boredom... keep playing as the goalkeeper for nearly 3 matches. Even though I have a chance to play as Striker, it is just ONLY 1 game... I repeat... 1 GAME!!! How in the hack can I get back my form. Even though I have train for a few minutes, is it sufficient?? That's totally a BULL!!! Sorry if you hat my impatience but I'm getting to explode soon, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!! You call those people to exchange roles with you and what the hack they say? 'Nah, dont feel like changing with you...' Never mind about that, what about letting me playing for the last 5 minutes of the game, before the lights goes off and everyone goes back home... 'Ar... Wait ar, let me play first... You wait first k... Until i finish this game...' WAIT!!! WAIT!!! That's a fully loaded crap of yours!!! So, I dceided to walk off... WALK OFF!!! Sick and tired of this man!!!! Accept for Jimmy and Eugen, I can understand that... Eugene wanted to play a match and he did swoop roles with me... Jimmy didnt want to change roles with me but I dont mind, as the team needs him in order to win. Alex is a good striker, anot a good keeper... Sion.. he's paling for another team... Never mind... Jack... YOU PISS ME OFF FIRST... WITH YOUR BLOODY EXCUSE.... Never mind... How about Jia Long, let me have a chance to play for 5 minutes... NAH!!! Forget it... Next time I just pass you people the ball and you defend the post by yourself!!! AT ALL MEANS!!! Pissing me off just like that... GREAT!!!!

Today, I found out a secret.. A extreme,extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme DARK DARK secret.... Really hurts me alot for sure... I keep playing soccer with this secret in my mind... I really dont know why... It seems that no matter what I do, it will not change the fact. MAybe the problem lies in me... Really me... Great!! I just keep this a secret as I dont want it to be too obvious... Only some people know about it... I hope that the secret will change but it will not happen... for SURE... now, I really believe that the phrase 'The truth really hurts' is definitely a good phrase, a meaningful one... I seem to eb the only fool in this world, who doesnt know about it... Why everyone want to make me a fool... for goddness sake... It seems that i lost everything... Hopeless... Goner!!! GAME OVER!!!! FINISHED!!!! A pathetic, lonely, irritating, bloody fool of the century... What a day man!!!! WHAT A DAY!!!!!

Problems still exist in my home... My 'dear' father.. SMoke all day, polluting the air in my home... he can kiss me goodbye if it goes on for the next few years... I will be getting sick of this smell.. That bloody stinking smell that fatally put my family's lives at risk... Hey father... you are a 'good' father... a stink 'good' father... I really hate you sometimes, even though I respect you. I cant wait to say that I really want to give you a punch in your face... But I'm still bearing it... BEARING IT!!! My Mom..??? Nags all day... yeah.. Sometimes I agree that people say Women nages alot... hey do care.. They do show their love... But do they know they are extremely irritating when you are totally stressed up??? You get to feel the temperature in your body to rise up... Blowing your top!!!! Piss me off when my Mom nags at me.... Cant you just shut the hell up??? I'm the one who is studying and you putting me in this state of mind... Are you nuts??? Or am I the one who is nuts?? I feel like screaming in front of you to stop interferring my problems but I cant... You are my Mum, I respect you... Dont force me to turn my back on you one day... Dont ever make me do tahat Mum... DONT!!!!! My sister... Irritating like a 'B'... When she has problems, find me... When she got gossips, tell me... When I need things from her.. sometimes give me an attitude.. Do you know that I've enough of all the crap.. especially you tell your friends about your hatred towards my friends!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! You dont ever interfere my life dude... I have my own friends. i know what's right, what's wrong... No need for you to worry... ANyway... Thanks for YOUR CONCERN..... I had enough of all this, making me angry for every word I'm typing right now....It seems I'm going to whack all of them up, upside down... Gosh!!!! My family is so SUCKY!!! SUCKY!!!!

Dear friends of mine, I know you dont know the real me... But I'm going to say this... i can be nice.. I can be your most perfect lamer, fool, arsehole and many more... Howver, I have patience... i can bear all the laughs, taunts and other things about me taht are done by all of you... I bearing... BEARING... and I'm exploding like a bomb.. You dont like me when i'm angry.. Especially when I'm out of control... Doing the most foolish things that you never expect from me... I can be a nice guy.. but i'm not a total blind person... a gay... a lamer or other names taht you call me... I maybe a weak jerk but I have my desire... My dream... My favourites... Dont force me to put you people in a difficult position... seeing the different Nicholas in front of you... And I saying these things... I mean IT!!!

I know that I suppose to have a date with her.. Well actually not.. It's because i didn't tell her that I want to date her but to invite her for a movie. The worst thing is not to call the Band members to watch the movie. It's calling her male friend , that I did not know who is that, to join us, making the whole situation to be a weird one.. I have never been to this kind of situation before. Well, probably I'm been used to watching movie with Rui Xiang, Chris and Yun Ting only.. Anyway, back to the sernario on Tuesday... I paid the tickets, except for Rui Xiang and Edward, Chris male friend... And we went into the cinema andwatch the movie... never mind about that... The 'best' part is that Chris sit at the corner while Edward sit next to her. I was sitting next to Edward.. What a luck... hehe... even though watching the movie is fun, I get to feel abit uneasy with Edward next to me. Maybe I'm just not use to sit to strangers... Thats not the worst part of the day... I cant even send her home.. alright, I know that if I write all these crap on my blog is crappy but sometimes I need to explain my life to others... reminding myself of my life as a teenager... Haix...

Anyway, i'm stillf eeling the pain in my heart. It's hard to explain to all of you but it really hurts me alot. Maybe i really cant take the sight of the two of them.. Sorry about that but I'm just happy to see that Chris is happy thats all... Its alright to lose the dearest person of my mind. However, that person must be happy, that's all... by the way, she had her own life to rule by herself while I have my own... Well, i dont know who she like anyway, or even if she like me or not.. Well, I just need to wait... thats all...

These few days seems to be a torture, not just to me but also my friends... It's quite hard to explain. Firstly, the problem lies on Syikin. I dont know why she looks so moody these few days, and most of all, yesterday's Band concert cant seem to make her feel more happy. Where I the previous Syikin, the cheerful and happy go lucky gal??? I saw her talk to Huzaimi after that but I really hope she will feel better after their chat. as a friend, I dont mind she talks to who but the most important thing is that she must be happy. she must be a cheerful person, ithout worries.... That will be the true Syikin that I have seen previously... Haix...

The next person is Jacq, from Sec 2, Chris's class... Nowadays, she seems to hate her ex, as both of them are in a fuss... Well, I dont know what's bothering both of them but what I hope is that Jacq could be happy. If you are looking at this post, I wish that you can smile always. your smile will light up your friend's day, especially Ivy, Dennise and Chris. Most of all, you will not feel so sad about the incident. Remember, if you have any problem, you can find me. I will try my best to help you. For example, like what you did for the past few days, hitting my hand... hehe... But if it can help you feel much better, I dont mind doing that for an hour or so.... So, cheer up k...

Well, tonight it's Newcastle vs Man Utd. Man Utd have to be ready for this as Newcastle's new striker is in the match. Worst of all, they have to play without the vital player, Gray Neville. Let's hope everything is alright.... Better win... hehe...

Guess what, I'm not going to retake my O-Level Mother Tongue. Why? It's very simple. All thanks to Ms Lee and Mdm Ong, both giving me advices about my future. At first I really wanted to retake the Mother Tongue exam. However, Ms Lee started to reprimand me for retaking, which might affect my overall results. Furthermore, I told Mdm Ong about what Ms Lee said. She also said that the problem is I cant decide what decision to choose. So, I discuss with my Mum and made up my mind, to choose not to retake that exam. Haix, maybe it's all fate that i'm not good in my Chinese... haha...

yesterday was a terrible day. My Mum called me when I'm having my physics lesson and she told me that my Sister had a cut at her chin, which need 2 stiches. Nevermnd about the stiches but I'm quite piss off at first. You cant expect me to lose my concentration during the lesson. However, after the phone call, I cant concentrate either. The problem is that I'm thinking how is my sister right now... It really makes you get angry and felt more concern about her injury. After school, I went to the clinic and saw her. At first, I really wanted to scold her for being so careless, causing my Mum to be so worried. although I have blown my top, the teacher, Ms Dawn Chia, ried to chill me down. Alright, I did tried but right now, I'm alright. I just hope my Sister will be alright, that's all..

Today, more problems coming up. First, I played soccer and get the taste of telling your opponents to 'SMD'. I cant tell what the meaning is as it's too offensive... Anyway, I been kicked two times by a great pusher, Mr Sham's son, and that bloody fat Alvin, who doesnt know what is the real meaning of playing a FAIR and SQUARE soccer. Although thinking of that incident makes me mad, I dont mind... The worst part has yet to come. The Band is collasping. The whole Band is getting very lousy, chaos, bad... All the negative words are coming inot my mind... The Band members have decreased to half, which is unacceptable. Where the hell are these missing members... WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE??? The concert has to be cancelled, the President Star Challege has been called off... Also known as a 'hoax' by Mdm Tan... Now, the people are not turning up for Band... Worst of all, those who are not turning up felt that the whole CCA is a waste of time!!! And they wanted to QUIT!!!! What is wrong with everyone??? EVERYONE!!!!

This is getting too much... I cant take it anymore with this keep going on. band Members, if you cant be discipline enough to make sure that you are a member in the Band, then you are just nothing at all. The real Band that I have encountered is a group of people, who suffered together and shared the joy together. Moreover, the Band is the best family in Canberra. No other CCAs have this kind of feeling. Sectional leaders are quite tress to handle this matters. Even though Mdm Tan's demands are high, the Sectional Leaders are trying their best to do their job. And you people, just screwed them. I really hope all of you can wake up... And not continue to be at your dreamland. just like me, I'm waking up now, to get ready for my prelims in 14 days time. So, why dont you people get up and do what you need to do... And not being a lazy fellow... DUDES!!!

Its National Day and it's quite great after all. You get to watch the fireworks, one more time. However, with all the people from our class, we didnt expect to see another stranger to join us. Well, she is quite a stranger to some of us as we never talk to her before. That person is none other Xin Ni's sister. i dont know her name but she is a very interesting person. Really interesting. from the first appearance, she is just a kiddo to you. But once she open her mouth, the kiddo image disappear. The image of a wonderful kid seems to be gone. VANISHED! The first thing she told us was 'Why you guys look like gangsters.... Why my sis mixed with you people...' For me, i'm alright with it, as I been inulted in class before, so i dont mind for a kid to say that. well, its good thing that she finds me more decent than the rest, just looking at my appearance ONLY. Phew, I actually wanted to wear some other shirts but I chose the shirt that Yun ting bought for me. luckily, its suits me on that day. Anyway, I pointed to her, saying that Jia Long look quite decent too but the respond was not so friendly. "he looks more like a playboy to me..." This will always be in my mind, rest of my life.

After the whole celebration, I did chat with her, with great patience, I think. Jacq told me that she had lost the battle against her, in some sort of a chatting contest... hehe... Well, maybe i understand Xin Ni's sister's behaviour. you know something, I have been to a Child Care center, so I will know abit of making kids happy, sort of... So, I did chat wit her from 7.30 till nearly 11 plus... a total of 4 hours... Record breaking moment, for chatting such a long time. haha... But i know the reasons why she wanted to ask alot of questions about Xin Ni. The reason for that is simple; to protect the sister from going towards the Dark Side... I know that she really cares her Sister but also, her attitude towards others still can be improved. Anyway, its good that both sisters interect with each other...

Just got back my results two days ago, its totally horrendous! a C6 for Mother tongue. Luckily, my dear Mum didnt lay a finger on me, or else, I wont survive the next day for school... haha... but i'm going to retake the whole bloody examination one more time, to get better results. Its not that I didnt study but I did try my best to get a good result. The fact is, I'm not good in my languages. During the prelims, i got a C6. So, i dot realy mind to get C6 for the O level results. At least not a D7...

Now, its my tie to start criticising my pal here, jia Long. Sorry to those who reads my blog but I have to tell him something before things start to gt lose. ere we go... Jia Long, listen up, I dont want to quarrel with you but before you write any testimonials about me, Cant you just use your numb skull to think of some good things about me... I dont mind your critics about me but mind you, when you are talking about anger management, I think i'm the one who can do better than you. lets see... hum.... whenever there is a quarrel, you are the one who get piss off first... While I settle my things, without bothering it. this shows that I will not vent my fustrations so easily, unlike you. alright, lets not talk about anger mangement issues, let's talk about how you react towards your friends. hey, who is the person who is not at home, and letting his maid to serve us, and not the host. isn't it crazy??!!! The MAID instead of the HOST!!! NONSENSE!!! Alright, I know I didnt contribute much to help my friends, I dont have SCV, or what ever games. However, I do care when my friends need help, if I can help... You?? I think its we are helping you instead....

Okay, next, lets talk about academic. I know that your language is better than mind, and you can boast whatever you want, despice me if you like. Howver, I'm trying to improve myself. the worst thing is that you cant take jokes!!! take about controlling a person's temper... Wow... What can I say about you... Red Bull... I have no means and ways to insult you but I think I have the authority to whip you if i want. WHY? Its simple, because your attitude is totally bad... If a rating between 1 to 10, i think I will give you a 3 ( giving you some face..) So just wake up dude, you can be the smartest person but your attitude must be the worst... think of what mistakes you ever do, do you know whats the meaning of self-concious???!!!

One more thing before I end here, I'm also a AC Milan fan, but not as so supportive lie you. This is because I support Man Utd first. AC Milan is my thired choice within the 3 clubs I support. Let me rank it for you. 1st -> Manchester United 2nd -> Bacelona FC 3rd -> Ac Milan. So pal... If you are thinking that i'm insulting you, oh please!!! I just write that the class say AC Milan Sux, and not saying that its me! If its me, it will be my own opinion for that!!! So wake up... I'm not your bloody toy alright, ot going to give way to you, just like palying soccer. each matter we face, we must deal it differently.

If we are studying, I agree you are better, talking about soccer, I may dominate you sometimes. But remember, in class, I can be your best friend. In soccer, I will be your worst friend, or at least, your worse nightmare... Me getting alive... maybe... but its you to wake up... No more dreamland dude.... snap back to reality soon or your future is over. Since I talk to you nicely and
you dont listen, suit youself dude. I maybe evil right now but face the facts that I have mention out... Arent they real... Dont tell me they dont appear in your life, your soul??!!!

Just had my bath after my soccer match. Actually, its not a match but should be considered as training. Well, today's soccer is one of the most boring days I ever played but can counted as the best soccer game I ever played. Today, there is only me, Jimmy and Eugene. Thats all!!! We did play with CCC, and some indian fellows. after that, we played a 3 on 3 match, where the 3 of us played against 3 big boys... Should be. They are taller than us, larger in size... wow.. Anyway, back to the match, we started to lead until 7 - 1. However, things changed completely after I became the goalkeeper. Their shots were terrific, closing up the scoresheet. We finally draw 8 - 8. The last goal will determine the winners of the game. Well, I still vividly remembered that eugene gave a through pass to me, where I was upfront. The tried to trap the ball but it continued to bounce. So, without any hesitation, I volleyed the ball with my right foot, into the post, winning the game with 9 - 8. Amazing!!! Even though its a good game, its really makes me feel exhausted.

Well, these few weeks are not so good for me after all. I mean, there is some lost connection between Chris and me. I dont understand why she want to avoid me. Even though she knew my feelings towards her, why cant she just treat me as a normal firend. She just ignore me or try to find excuses to get rid me from her sight. I really dont know why but since you like to do that, I have no choice but to play this 'cat and mouse' game with you. I really hate being the cat, trying to get my catch, where I'm becoming more dmb. I dont know your feelings towards me but at least you can say something that make me comfortable... Oh my... By the way, Chris, take care of yourself and dont hurt your foot anymroe. You twisted your leg and yesterday and now, you have blisters on both feet. Well, you better rest well... Good luck for Monday....

It's time to celebrate our National Day!!! COOL!!! Well, it falls on the 9th of August and this year, it's Singapore's 40th Birthday... which means that we will be hvaing some holidays in the coming week... hehe... That will be great! Away from studies, away from school, away from stress... at the meantime... Today is my worst day in school. It's extremly terrible. The worst part is not the lessons in school but the contributions of the Band in the NDP. WHY??? Just ook at them march... even though they did improve, they are still not alert enough. They cant do the correct steps, 'Left, right, left, right...' This really piss me off...

More problems coming ahead, with injuries plagued on the Band. Melissa already sprained her ankle a few days ago. Now, Chris sprained her ankle. Nizam collasped during the performance. Clarence had injured his leg. Khuzaihma hurt her spine. Chelsea had craps on her stomach. More and more!!!! This is going to be crazy!!! What can the Band do... especially on the following Monday, when the performance begin. I really hope everyone get enough rest and do practice hard during the weekends. Most of all, they must do a very very good job on Monday, or else, its my worst Band performance I have ever seen...

Haix... I going for the school carnival tomorrow... Well, I'm too angry to say anything right now... Thats all...