Just had my P.O.M. paper and its really... I dont know... To me, it was alright but when it comes to the Section C part, I was beating around the bush. Maybe I wasnt paying attention to the keywords written on the question paper but what I know is that, in my mind, I wish I could just complete the stupid paper as soon as possible. Done with it and that's it!! Hmm... Think I was having some system breakdown, probably a mental breakdown. Tomorrow would be A.F.A., the worst module that I could past. I could score 24/25 for the first ICA and 12/25 for the second ICA. Amazing...

Anyway, like it or not, I gonna pass the whole Sport and Wellness Management diploma. No matter what, I must not fail any modules. This is the basic criteria for me to ensure that I could get a place where I really want to go. N.I.E... I think its quite easy to say but its quite hard to enter if my scores are not up to the standard. The dream of going to N.I.E. seems to be drifting further away from me each day but there's no time to think too much about that, exams are still in progress. No time for slacking and no time for sleep. Alright... I think i'm just crapping all over here... Sorry people... I'm just getting tired and I'm trying to keep myself awake, to prepare for my revision later, as well as remembering all the important points for A.F.A..

Before stopping my post, Diana, just a few words, or papragraphs to you, there's no need to apologise. Well, maybe you have problems telling me how you feel and what you think about certain issues, or probably, I'm always snatching your lines whenever we have a short period of time to chat while in school. Haha... Anyway, just look at the bright side of life. Everyone, even me, would want to get away from alot of things; studies, stress, homework, exams, parents' nagging, etc... Many many more. However, we cant escape from reality. We still need to face it no matter what.

Seriously, I could be, again, talking crap to you but one thing is for sure, I would not allow you to quit school so easily. Even if your parents allow, I wont allow. Haha... I dont wish you have such negative thoughts as its not good for your health and studies. Believe me, the more you think about quitting, the more you feel that studies is a total waste of time. Now, I dont want this to happen to you. Therefore, please dont make yourself sick. You're already that weak (health), plus the injuries and blah blah blah... I think you should rest more instead than falling sick.

Please dont hate yourself too. If you hate yourself that you are not able to communicate with others and you cant take the stress at home, well, there are other things to destress. I know you wont do stupid things like cutting wrists or whatever but I hope you could just do things that could stop your imagination from running while. Cutting wrist is really a stupid idea, and I mean it. Why would you hurt yourself by cutting yourself, rather than just learn extra cultery lessons and learn how to slice the fish, chicken, duck, vegetables and any kind of food??!!! At least you can destress by cooking and you can learn something new in life!! OMG!! Oops... not refering to you, Diana... LOL!!

If it comes to hating oneself, then I should hate myself more than anybody. That's because I could not help the people around me and if I could help myself, isnt that too selfish. For me, I always want to do wonders. If today I'm not a Sport and Wellness Management student, I would be considering of being a nurse, if possible. It sounds hard and totally gay but saving a person's life is a worthwhile thing to do. Saving a friend's life is the most precious thing you would want to do. Yet, I cant do that now... They say, 'Friends do come and go..' I believe in that but I always never expect them to be gone and gone forever. Thus, I treasure everyone in my life, even you and others... Hence, no hating of yourself please. You can hate 'Diana - the keyboard or monitor' but not the human... Okay??!!

Its hard to treasure a friend, especially when both of us are totally in opposite worlds. Your's in Secondary school and mine in the Polytechnic. However, I dont mind going for the extra mile to help others, as well as having a better understanding for each other. Anyway, next time, if you want to scream, give me a SMS, see if I'm in Sembwang or not. I can accompany you to the drain next your your flat and start screaming like retards. Haha... Anyway, smile gal... There's nothing that could make your life so miserable. Stay positive at times...

While for me, let me be the robot that you always know; the one who wont sleep at all, the one who wont feel any feelings. The one who allows you to scold if you feel sad or angry, the one who would still be bringing you a smile even if its the end of the world. From the so-call 'Doctor of smilez...' Nic... :)

These days I think I have problems with me. If you are my roommate, I think you would be thinking I am the weirdest person with the strangest character. Not trying to criticise myself or what but these days, I think I'm missing soccer every now and then. Each morning, I would wake up and started to juggle my soccer ball. Just juggle a few times, off I go for my bath. Never mind. After that, I would be doing things very slowly... Late for this meeting and that meeting. Alright... Although I did continue with my learning process for the coming exams, I was still having some problems in me. For instance, I could be banging anything around me as well. I know that the thing was in front of me, very obvious but yet, I could just bang on it. What the...

I went to Xin Ni's house last night to study. As usual, I wasnt feeling that good when I chat with her Dad as her Dad would be testing me a few things, which I could have a problem answering. That night, her Dad asked me 'What course are you studying?? What modules are you learning...' Once I said the word 'Marketing', I realised I had stepped on the wrong path. Next question he asked was 'Tell me some of the strategies of Marketing...' GOOD GAME!!! I was stunned... speechless... Haix... I can answer many things, quite a number but not studies please... NO!!

While studying, I was quite clumsy all the time. I entered the room and I banged the table. I took a pen and my hand hit the edge of the table. Thinking that my 'Banging' incident was over, I dont think so. After studies, I went home to rest and I wanted to take off my lenses so I went to the washroom in my Mum's bedroom. The whole room was dark and Mum and Sister were sleeping so I dont want to swtch on the lights to distract them. Yet, I walked forward and I banged on the fan in front of me. Haix... A never ending of Bangs for me I guess. I could bang on the same spot for 2 times so I dont think it would stop after all. Haha...

"Why can you be kind and sympathise with others, yet pushed me down even further when I was in that exact same position?" That is the question that I had just read from a friend's blog, which seems to be refering to me. All I could say that... For the past 2 to 3 years, I started to learn, as well as mature. From a kid to a teen and a young adult, I learnt alot of things, alot... I remembered that in the past, I dont like my sister at all. However, as I grew, I realised that people around me are important to me, so as you. I could be a mean person in the past but things have changed. After our seperation for 3 years or so, I have develop to be a person with stronger determination. A thirst for success is in me and I wont give up at all to see myself or my team to face defeat. After engaging in the Sports world, I have look upon the vision of becoming a better sportsman, though I'm not completely one.

Maturity grows and in the past, mistakes are made. I could cause alot of pain to you during that time but still, I could tell you this, I do care for you too, so dont feel such negative thoughts about me... Hehe... I could tell everyone to smile but the thing, no one smiles... I could tell everyone jokes to ease the pressure but the thing is, its either not funny or the joke is too 'cold'. I could be a clown in front of everyone to make their day to be better but the thing is, would they bother?? I dont know. Right now, I live my life with my own rules and thanks to Ms Lee, my good friends from 5E3 and 4N3,V.J. and gang and many many more, my passion towards soccer starts to grow and I understand what's important in life. I always tell myself money isnt the important factor in life but brothers like Yong Hong and Chin Wah tells me that money is important as it provides your family with a better life. I now agree on that but to me, I still live the life that I always want...

More importantly, I have goals to achieve. I have roles to play in other people's life; the role a a good brother for my Sister, Mum and Dad, role as a good student in front of my classmates, and role of a sportsman, who would not pick on fights if any defeats is met. I could move along but I do agree, the pain is still in me. I'm human and humans have emotions. If you think I'm not feeling anything, then you can call me a 'retard' or 'idiot' the next time you chat with me online. Even if you are sad and your path is moving upwards and downwards, move on, my girl... I believe you have a life of your own now, with a happy partner that is willing to be with you for the rest of your life. While for me, as I always say, dont worry... I'm alright with things although its quite stressful. I could have a new relationship or what in BGR but one thing that I wish to tell you is that... I last BGR was 3 years ago??!! Wow... I'm quite old for such things I guess. Haha...

Remember, a person's life is always full of regrets and remorse but it still depends on that person to change his or her thoughts. I could be remorse or regretful but am I willing to move on, and be a better person, or should I just stay behind and wait, until I rot?? I did rot once but not gonna be twice. WHY?? That's because I live my own life with my own rules... Reality is indeed crucial and that's why, if you want some, go get some... Nothing awaits for anyone.

I was actually sleeping, well, sort of half-asleep when Kenneth called my handphone for help. Alright, now I'm using the computer, guifing him to download the Adobe Reader. The good thing about using Adobe reader is that it provides users a better way of viewing documents. However, the disadvantage is Adobe is not Microsoft friendly. It seems that we need to follow the rules of the game in these reality, which is the pros and the cons factor. People wants things to to be perfect but sometimes, it isnt going that well at all.

Anyway, today's Statistics test is quite alright for me. I was able to complete the paper on time, as well as getting the 2o marks questions in Section B with no errors at all. That's a good sign for me as I need the marks to score at least a 'B' grade for the module. After the exam, I was quite hungry and relief as well. Kenneth, Isa, Kenny and I had a discussion about our answers and this is what I call, 'Inverse Relationship' effect:

Kenny: We should use this formula to get the answer lah!!!

I: Yes!!! I used the correct formula, YEAH!!! (Smiling... Jumping Up and Down...)

Isa and Kenneth: Haix... I didnt write... Sh*t... (Showing the 'Sian 1/2' face...)

Kenny: However, the answer is still what we have calculated so its alright lah...

Isa and Kenneth: Heng Ar!!! Luckily got the correct answer... (Smiling... )

I: WAH LAO!!! Sh*t!! I got the wrong answer... KNN... (Showing the 'Sian 1/2' face...)

Alright, it sound very weird here... I'll explain... Kenny was telling me that he used the wrong formula for the question but I did. The rest didnt so they were upset. However, Kenny said that his computation for the values gives him the correct answer, which everyone got it except for me. Thus, I was losing marks and my morale going downwards... OMG!!! WHY??!! Nevermind, I still can make it... Haha.... Relax... Exam for that is over, time to concentrate on other stuff!!

Kenneth, Isa, Kenny and I went to the Macdonalds to have our meal and Kenny started to lecture me with A.F.A. questions which I have problems dealing with them. A.F.A. is indeed a killer for me. I guess I need to revise it more than P.O.M.. Anyway, after that, I went to meet Jonathan and gang as we went to visit Yun Ting's house for the New Year celebration. You can say its fun but I find it abit bored, probably I'm exhausted and I wasnt in the mood to have fun. Haha... I left around 11 plus and went home for a rest.

I wasnt having a good sleep these days as I was staying overnight at Jia Long's house to watch a soccer match, as well as revising Statistics. I reached his house around 12 plus and I started my revision straight away. I was quite tired but I tried to keep myself awake. Around 3 plus, the match started and I was having my meal, which was a cup of noodles. Eugene was eating noodles while Jonathan, Gavin and Jia Long were enjoying steamboat. I dont mind eating steamboat with them but my taste buds was not giving the right signal to eat that. I had Tom Yam steamboat before I came so I did lost my appetite.

The guys were quite good in setting up the steamboat. Jia Long's family used the traditional steamboat wok to cook the food and charcoal must be added into the thing to start the fire. They tried to fire the thing since 2.30am and they finally succeed after an hour later, with the whole living room covered with smoke, and everyone trying to find a place for fresh air to breathe. Alright, for once, I prefer steamboat rather than smokeboat. It was too smoky and I thought my spectacles was playing tricks with me. Haha... After the soccer match, I continued to do my questions. The match between Barcelona and Liverpool was intense but Barcelona was not putting its best performance. Hence, their lost was not a surprise to me.

Out we went for breakfast after that with Yun Ting, Ivy and Chris joining us. Eugene was tired and had school later that day so he went home. After the meal, I head to Canberra and printed my stuff before heading home. I had a 6 hours sleep but still, not enough. With the studying and sleeping, I was still feeling exhausted. i had not sleep for 23 hours and what I recieved in the end was a 6 hours sleep. Not fair!! Plenty of calls disturbed during the process of my beauty sleep. Too bad, no refund could be made or any exchanges with the M.O.E..

Before I end here, with many things in my mind about later, I just want to tell some things to some people before I sleep. Diana first.... Hey gal, dont cry alright??!! Smile... I mean... I really dont understand what has occured but I know that you are feeling quite sad, which caused you to have the urge to cry. I could be there consoling you but I understand that no matter how many times I typed smile or messaged you 'smile', it doesnt mean you could smile very easily. Anyway, I think what I asked from you is too much so next time, try to smile, if cant, then its alright. I could be a friend who cares alot to you but sometimes my concern could be quite irritating. Haha... Cant blame you, I'm born with it. Anyway, I dont have any hard feelings about the incident just now but I hope you could rest more then. Once again, try to smile... :)

Another person, Jasmine, I dont know would you ever read my post or not but I hope you do look at this. I know that its hard to get parents to follow what you like to do or give you the freedom to do things. However, I think you should relax for a moment. I dont know what's the age gap between you and your Big Sister but one thing is for sure, your parents do not want you to be going out all the time. I dont know why parents have such thinking and I sometimes do feel the rage in me after they refuse to accept my ideas, even if I'm a soon to be 19 geek. However, I think there are still othe opportunities going out. Not today but next week, so cheer up alright. I know I'm typing too much crap here and I dont think you would read further with my naggings but still, I hope you realised that sometimes we dont get things what we want and we need to learn how to accept it. If any offense or what, I'm sorry but I'm just trying to be honest...

Alright... stopping here now. Lastly before I go, let me just pray for you, Jasmine, although I dont believe in God and I dont pray to them all the time, I hope that your Grandpa would recover soon and God would bless him. Recover in the sense that he's getting better with his condition but not the smoking part. If he still disobeys your family members and continue to eat seafood, remind him about injection then, I think he would obey what you all say.... Haha... Anyway, its good that you are well. Still, eat your medicine regularly and drink more water!!! Smile... AR!!! SSSSllleeeeepppyyyyyyyy.... (3 more exam papers... Bring it on!!!)

Mmmm... MMMM..... Yeah

Verse 1:

Baby I just don't get it
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smelled the perfume the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories
You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was your man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'll be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good things)
Wish for the diamonds (I have the ring)
Baby you're a star ( I just want to show you, you are)

Chorus:

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

Verse 2:

Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts
You're a dime plus ninety - nine and it's a shame don't even know what you're worth
Everywhere you go they stop and stare
Cause you're bad and it shows from your head to your toes
Out of control baby you know

If I was your man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'll be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good things)
Wish for the diamonds (I have the ring)
Baby you're a star ( I just want to show you, you are)

Chorus:

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

Bridge:

You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)
We should be together girl (baby)
With me and you it's whatever girl
So can we make this thing ours?

Chorus:

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

repeat til it ends (about 3 times)

Mario talks: Let me love you that's all you need baby

Chinese New Year Day 2 and 3 was quite alright. I do enjoy the day at Jeremy's house on Day 2, since he was challenging a game of Winning Eleven 9 with me. Alright, I did win him but yet I lost after that. Yao Xing, V.J., Jeremy, Jeremy's Dad and I went to took the food from a nearby neighbourhood in Sembwang, of course, for the occasion later in the afternoon. After bringing the food to his house, we continue the game. As usual, Jeremy wants to win the game and he did, after a few times... However, he was so engross with the game that his Mum was nagging at him to eat first instead of playing first. Haha... I left early as I need to visit other places in ang Mo Kio. I went back to his house again in the evening, which turn out to be a bad thing. We bought liquor and I realised that his Mum and Dad wasnt please at all. My bad. I should have stopped them from ordering too much liquor. Haix... Never mind. I know my mistake and so, mistakes are mend to be learnt. Haha...

Day 3 was abit bored. I went to Cindy's house at 12 plus. She was really a weirdo. She messaged me, telling me not to go to her house yet as her Dad is at home. Okay, I dont mind at all. However, the biggest prob was that I dont have her address, so how am I suppose to find my way to her house? Haha... Alright, I know you read this post, you will be mad. Anyway, thanks for the offer. I do enjoy visiting your house, especially the wonderful view outside your house, where I could see the court in front. Now that's what I call free entertainment, just like a stadium view. Maybe I would consider buying a house that has such a splendid view?? Haha... I went to Ang Mo Kio again but it was just a 5 minutes visit and I left the house. My coach, Mum, Sister and I went to have Swenson's for dinner, which is breakfast for me actually... I had a chicken cutlet and ice cream. A nice meal which last me the whole day. At night, I was doing my AFA till I go crazy and posted the stupid post, which was last night. I continued my studies till 4am today. Amazing...

Woke up at 11 plus, thanks to Kenneth, who wants to ask me Statistics question. I dont mind helping as its a good way to start revision, fresh in the morning. Doing the question was alright and I think I need to start my revison for Stats again. There are still some loopholes in the topics but I think I gonna continue my studies later till tomorrow morning. I think Canberra students would see me in the morning, Shagged... I would be staying at Jia Long's house for a night to watch the match between Liverpool and Barcelona, as well as studying. No choice, I need to fight all the way. Haha...

Before I end my post for today, I need to type some stuff to release the pressure in my chest. Well, believe or not, while on my way to school today, I saw someone trying to jump off the building. I wasnt sure if its a male or female but I do know that if you see a tent at the parking lot, this means that someone is jumping. Its either the person is throwing another person down, or the person is trying to throw himself or herself down. To me, I do look at the scene but just managed to see the tent, and many other spectators watching the whole show. I dont feel like knowing and I was thinking that the person who is doing this is rather stupid. Stupid... Yeah... Stupid.. You have your life, and you dont cherish it when problems occur. How about the people who are born with illness in themselves. Why are they still perserving to stay alive?? That's because they have dreams and passion that they long to fulfill.

I have no rights to judge a person's doing but I do believe in people's judgement for survival. If someone is so eager to jump, why do it now?? You should do it when you are a kid. Alot of things come into my mind after watching the incident. I feel... nothing... Numb... Lost... Thinking about my existence in this world... Is life gonna be like that?? I sometimes realised that I was the noobest person in the world, who cant protect or help the people around me; people who I care and love. Even if they accept my help, it seems like my help is not needed. All I did was like extra... Haix... alright, I have nothing to say but think I'm too sensitive... Maybe...

I really wish I could just protect someone from sickness, from pain... but fail to do so. Hope to be the person's wings, bringing that person high up the sky.... Yet... Reality hits back... its all a dream... Wild thoughts of mine? Probably... In fact... Its hard to lose someone... and I dont know how am I gonna face it in the future... Cry?? Run away?? Stay calm?? I actually have the perfect answer.... Feel numb.... numb....

Studies... Its making me going crazy right now. I've just finish UNDERSTANDING the stupid topic on A.F.A. and i still cant do the questions. This is killing me, driving me NUTS, gonna burn the book if possible but I still need to restrain myself. Each time I tried to remember the sh*t, understand the sh*t, it turn out to be all the wrong answers when coming to do the questions. The the sh*t is this??!! (Currently stressing out to chill myself... Having a minor headache too. Hence, cursing out would feel better...)

Anyway, back to the crap I have typed. 'S' --> Studies... also means as 'S' --> Suck... Why??? its because I tired so hard and yet, it turned out to be 'S' --> Sh*t!!! Even after CNY Day 2 and 3, I went back home and its studying and studying. What came out??? This kind of nonsense. Is my eyes playing the tricks?? Or is it my brain??? Or, the answers... Anyway, screw you, stupid A.F.A. (isnt it another 'S' --> screw... LOL!!)

Sorry, people... I'm lame here... Just got to do something constructive later then... So long...

The school's concert on Friday was alright. I didnt get to see the whole thing but one thing that I like is the Band's spirit in playing 'Fight of Valour' if the students in Canberra Secondary had shouted for 'ENCORE!' However, it was impossible as the events were already planned and any last minute changes is not allow to do so. Luckily for Rui Xiang and me, we did not take down the chimes and the bells as it was useless to bring it down to the hall just for an 'ENCORE' performance. Even if there is, I would be the one who is in dead meat as I was holding the keys to the Band room and if the 'ENCORE' takes place, it means that I was one of the people who collaborated with Chris to do an extra performance. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I dont know. Yet, I'm convinced that the 'Fight of Valour' could be improved although it sounds much better than the time I heard it in S.C.H., which was a horrendous one.

Just woke up but it wasnt a good sleep either. I didnt manage to sleep that well till 2am, I think. I was sleeping in my room around 11 plus but yet, I was having troubles with my sleep. All I could do is to tussle around the bed but still, couldnt get the feeling of I'm sleeping. I only felt that I was closing my eyes, not starting t enter the gates of my illusion world. After a great tussle, I went to the living room and slept on the sofa. No good at first until I did some shifting and turning,which was around 2 plus when I just slowly, slowly, knock out. However, just with a few hours of sleep, I was disturbed by the phone call of my Band mate. Haix... Never mind, at least its once in a blue moon, or else I would be suffering from sleeping disorder, soon gonna be a nerves system breakdown for me then. Haha...

Yah!! No seasickness, no dizziness. That would be a perfect start for the day. I would be heading back to Canberra to help the Band if anything is possible, as well as giving them support. Haha... Some of the seniors would be here, which would be splendid. I mean, I'm always the blur retard to go back to Band during the weekdays, alone. At least I have a group of friends who would join me, so I wont be embarrass when the whole Band greets 'Sirs' and 'Madams'. I'm not used to this greeting though its past 2 years. What can I say?? Somebody help me??

Anyway, good luck to the Band again for later's performance. Haha... Show your best effort!! Although I dont know how much you guys have learnt, how much you guys have tried, but I think you guys are perfectly the best bunch when it comes to striving your potential. Christina, you too... As the head of the Band, dont give up!!! Smile more!!! Ending now... Time for school...

After my studies in NYP, I went back home and felt dizzy straight away. No mood to eat, no mood to study. Although I would love to take a nap but I was busy with some things that need to be settled by today. Haix... So tiring but because of tomorrow's activity in Canberra Secondary, I need to check with the rest of the Alumni from the Band for their attendence. Sounds like I'm a busy man who does so many things but yet not spedning my time wisely on my studies. Haha..

Well, school was alright for today but was a nutcracker to me. Raymond, Kenneth and I were revising on Statistics and we end up just doing 1 question and spend the entire hour, doing, re-doing, and checking. Stupid question. I hope this question would give a '2 by 3' table rather than the '4 by 4' table or else I gonna be dead and going bonkers while counting. Each sum I could, I would be feeling my head shaking. No wonder I'm having a minor headache and things look so blur to me. My head is moving to the left, right, left, right, left... Like I'm under seasickness. Oh no... Bad timing...

After the revision, Kenneth and I played the Winning Eleven game and we started to use formal tactics of '4-4-2' and we end up having '3-3-4'. We lost the first game, which we took Spain, againsting England. The 2nd match, I started the round and just a simple pass, a through pass, a run in and a shot, 1-0!!! Haha... we won the game. 3rd round was when we had a penalty and we won. By the way, the tactic that I wont the first match was '1-5-4'. One defender, 2 defensive midfielder and some midfielders. All of them in an indian file. COOL!!

Anyway, I think I'm ending the post now... Zzz... My head is spinning and I need to help out tomorrow. Haha.. The gals called me again, and make the stupid, irritating quote of my Nick-name. Diao.... Not when I was feeling dizzy... Haix... Poor me... Be a man, follow the rules...

Valentine's Day is today and alot of things just happened. The good, the bad, the funny... blah blah blah... Let's just start from the morning then. Alright, I know that today wasnt a good or bad day for me. However, after she (friend) told me that she's not feeling that well and she didnt attended school, I didnt have a good sleep by then. Her message was around 7 plus and to me, it was a torture as I only had 3 hours of sleep. I slept at 4 and woke up at 7 plus just to see her message. I tried to sleep but hard to do so. Something is just super wrong with my nerves I think. Anyway, my sleep wasnt the thing I'm worried but was how do I pass her the present. I had aimed for the gift but had not bought it yet. That's why, I was planning to buy some time in order to buy the gift and past it to her...

Anyway, I woke up again at 10 plus. This time, its my Mum who disturbed me. OMG... Never mind. We had a short chat before she left home and I prepared to use the computer, as well as asking her if she's alright or not. Thinking that she would meet 'Violent' around 1 plus, I left home at 1pm and went to Causeway Point to find the gift. Too bad, the gifts are not that nice and isnt the one that I'm looking for. No choice so I went to Sun Plaza and bought it instead. Haha... Too bad, I dont have a picture of the soft toy or else I would put it online. Haha... I bought the soft toy, a piggy, of course, since she's one blur piggy. Haha.. With th soft toy covered in a box and a card in it, I think it was enough. I went back to Canberra to have my meal as she was busy in school and was waiting for Yue Feng to follow her to the Polyclinic.

I went out at 3 plus and it took me a long time to reach the Polyclinic. I admit that I was really lost. I dont expect A.M.K. Polyclinic is in the middle of the several shopping malls. I was worried that something would happen to her and ran to the Polyclinic and found her at the 2nd storey with her friends. Alright, she went into the room to get her result of her test (CONFIDENTIAL) and it was an infection. I was getting more worried than before as I didnt know what caused it to happened and what could be the aftermath of having such infections. Anyway, the lot of 6 of us went to collect her medicine at the counter. While waiting, Yue Feng was doing some stupid things, which... make everyone laugh and I was just too embarrass to go on. Haha.. Actually the whole lot of them are crazy but Yue Feng was the haywire one. Haha... Oops, my bad!!

After the Polyclinic visit, we went to the library since she wanted to borrow some books. While for me, I went to look for the soccer magazines, which is a habit that I always have while I'm in the library. It seems that I would go crazy with soccer magazines, which doesnt even show the action but words. However, I think I could learn more about how the players perservere during their tough times of life.... Yeah... maybe... Anyway, I went to the Health Section and read a book about infections and learnt that her infection could be serious if no proper treatment is made. That makes me panic after reading the facts. However, I hope she knows that what she needs to do and what she must not. Shortly, we went to the playground and the gals, except for one, went for the swing while I just stand at the playground and stare at the scenary around me. The gals kept calling me 'Wei De Kor Kor', also known as 'Big Brother'. OMG!! I dont mind that but when they started saying it in the library, it was getting onto my nerves. Diao... You can feel your hair stand while they say that and it sound so... gay... but no choice, they are gals and they mend to sound so... You know... hehe...

I passed her the gift before I head back to school where I promised Jeremy to buy food for him. Since its a promise that I've made, I would need to do it no matter what. Haha... Anyway, I just hope that she would like the gift that I gave and I really hope that she would stay healthy every day, every moment, every second. I reached school around 6 plus and left to Sun Plaza as it was the start of our [Operation Confession]. Everything went smoothly but turned out to be... negative. While on the way to the beach in Sembawang, Chris cried. She cried because of a lot of things; stress, Band, studies, teachers, etc. Many many things. All we could do is to console her and let her cry out to feel better. This is the second time I see her cried in front of me. The last time was when she's in Sec 1, and I was at her house. I dont know what happened at that time but she just cried, ending up Yun Ting and I comforting her.

As a senior of the Band, and the problem lies partly because of the Band, I think I should be resposible for what she has suffered. As seniors, we tend to push all the responsibility to our juniors or current leaders but we didnt think about how they feel. What's more bad about it was we dont even help them and end up following others, pushing the blame to leaders who did tried their best to make sure the Band exist. I feel bad by then.

Once we reached the beach, Jonathan was ready to make his confession. I tried not to see it but since it was dark, I was able to see the actions of his. He took a bouquet of flowers, knelled down, and ask the gal of his dreams about the question. Who's the gal? CONFINDENTIAL!!! Haha.. I dont want this issue to be an opened one but hope every one respects each other's privacy, that's all. Anyway, [Operation Confession] turned out to be a failure. Sometimes, we cant say that 'Love' is everything. It does not mean that the other will accept you although you accept the person already.

After the failure, we sat at the beach for nearly an hour or more. I sat alone, listening to my music, and waiting for her message if she does reply. Looked across the waters of Singapore is Malaysia and we could see fireworks displayed at the other island. Looking up, the sky was covered with stars. Beautiful... While seating at the sandy concrete, thinking about a lot of things, the image of her flew past my mind. I gonna make a confession in this blog. I dont know why but I think I have feelings for her. I dont know. I just wish that I could be with her everyday, wish that I could be the one who takes all her pain. As what I have mentioned, 'Love' isnt everything. She likes me as a brother while I likes her as if she's my gal of my dreams. Yet, I think she has a guy of her dreams, which couldnt be replaced. All I could do, is to be her wings, to let her soar and protect her from being hurt. The chance of being yours seems impossible for me but I'm willing to hold on and still, protect you at any cost. Is that an act of 'Love'? I dont know... However, I wish I could embrace you if you cry, smile when you laugh...

We walked back to Sembawang MRT Station from the beach and by then, my legs were aching. Between the knees, I could feel the ache which Diana had felt and I think its killing me like nuts. Anyway, everyone went back to their homes after 11pm. I was tired but I realised that I didnt study at all. This is the worst thing I ever did for this week. Exams are less than a week and I'm still doing such stupid things. Tomorrow, I would be studying with Raymond and Kenneth on Statistics and P.O.M.. Haix... Hope we could do well in these modules.

Before I end for today's post, I just want her to notice this if she ever reads this post. PIGGY, remember to drink water everyday, not soft drinks. At least 8 glasses a day. Other than that, eat more healthy food. Vegetables is better since it gives you more fibre. (Too bad, I'm a F&N student... Haha) Also, if there's any discomfort in your body, inform someone please. You can inform me too and I can accompany you to see the doctor as soon as possible. Haix... You always make me so worried. Oh yeah!!! Remember to eat your medicine regularly, dont be a blur pig like just now, eat the whole medicine though the instructions states 'take half of the mixture'. Dont do such silly mistakes alright??

Wow... So many things. Maybe I do care because I like her. However, there's one thing I know is that I do not want to lose any close ones in my life. Losing a few good people in my life makes me feel... I dont know... Sad?? Remorse?? I cant find the word now but one thing is for sure, if you are a friend of mine, I would protect you no matter what. Why? That's because I dont want to lose anyone from now on. Time is precious... though its always being wasted...

Sad... So sad... So so sad... So so so sad... So so so so sad... Very sad... Very very sad... Very very very sad... Very very very very sad... Extremely sad... Really sad... Extremely really sad... Holy sad... holy holy sad... Oh my goshy sad... Totally sad... Totally really sad...

Haix... Valentine's Day is tomorrow. As human beings mature, their thinking towards issues are very sensitive, or maybe not. I dont know. Maybe the most sensitive person in this world is me?? Haix... so sad... Now I think I'm just like one of the saddist from some stupid shows we see in the television. Alright, I dont have a date and I didnt wish to have a date but... I dont know why, I feel so sad... so so sad... so so so sad... Alright, think again, I think it would make me feel better by being so lame.

Ever wonder how it feels when u fall for a person but yet the person falls for another person. This is indeed very sad... I actually... Haix... sad... cant type le... Sad...



------ After 2 hours of doing my Statistics Mock Paper ------



Alright, I feel better now. I was just getting crazy with the Valentine's Day crap. After doing the paper and after some SMS with someone, I think I feel better. Alright, right now, its Valentine's Day but the thing is that exams are still around the corner. Haix... I got bad news but however, still not bad. I mean, I realised I was too sensitive since a few days ago and after doing some soul searching, alright, I did think too much. However, I just hope this relationship still exist, that's all.

Anyway, back to the main aim for later. Today's operation is known as [Operation Confession] Yes!!! Helping a friend to get his love one. That's the part where every friend plays a role to make things succeed. Haha... Good luck to you, my friend... While for me, I think I will sleep love to sleep now since its 2.23am in the morning... ZZZzzzz.....

I just dyed my hair and hope its should be alright for me. Its brown in colour and didnt expect the colour to come out so soon. Now my hair is in brown but I hope it isnt hat obvious when I return to Canberra tomorrow to do my revision. You may think that its just dying of hair and I'm making a big fuss about it. Actually, I did tried to dye my hair but it turned out to be nothing. No matter what kind of dye my Mum helped me to put, everything turns out to be the same colour; Black. Alright, I want to dye my hair but it does irritates me when the colour actually didnt appear at all. Hence, after today's dye, it tells me that it is a successful job done by my Mum, as well as the producers of the dye. Haha.. Thanks...

Anyway, there's a quote from my title, known as 'New Pain', well, I will explain that now. I actually have some difficulties with my leg muscles after the vigorous exercise on Saturday. I was actually recovering but because I promised jeremy to play soccer on Friday, I went on and played the game with my thigh muscle still not fully recovered. After the game, I feel my leg muscles very stiff and all I could do was not to walk too much and rest more. The next day, it was good news that my Aunt came to my house and she's the best aunt I have known as her massage is the best. I told her about my ache and she started to rub on it.

I yelled like a retard as it was very painful. Okay... That sounds gay but its the truth. at most times, each time she massage, I wont feel any pain at all. It was pure relaxation. However, yesterday's massage was terrible. I was a torture for my legs. While rubbing, she told me that I had used too much force and did too much heavy exercise on my legs so the veins are harden and are sticking together. Alright, I dont understand the doctor's theory but all I understand was the next sentence she said. 'If you didnt massage it, in the next few years, your veins would burst and there I go crippled forever...' Come to think of it again, I dont think I want that. I'm still at the age of 18, well, 19 this year and its still not to be the time for me to be crippled.

There are so many things for me to do and most of all, Charity Soccer is still not planned yet. I need to recover no matter what, to be fit enough to face the challenges ahead of me. Haix... That's why, I need to obey her words, to massage my leg muscles, also known to be the ligaments of my legs, to make sure that my veins would not contract each time I exercise. I think I did put my life in the games and the result could be dire if no immediate treatment is done. Thinking about that, I would think of a gal who wont want to eat and wont want to rest her knees. Diana... She's always like that, giving me worries because she keeps running for her cross country CCA. I have no rights to stop her but I want to ensure her that she's in the right condition to run. I just saw her blog and she hurt her knees again. Diao... Gal... Please do tak EXTRA care of yourself.. I dont want anything to happen to you. You know?? Hehe...

Mentioning about Diana, I realised that the abuse she faced in her blog is really out of control. Although I did faced it once in my blog, I was the one who started it and I have no regrets at all. However, that unknown person, called herself 'Anon', is using vulgarities to insult a person's diligence, which is unacceptable. However, the 'Anon' person should trying do some thinking about her words. All the funny crap she gave me, as well as Diana's friends sound so funny. She told us to go home and dont bother about their issues but the thing was, we are already at home and we tagged at home, so we did follow her instructions. Does that mean that there's another home?? Alright, Canberra Secondary could be my 2nd home while NYP could be the 3rd. However, I dont think so its appropiate to scram us out of the taggie. Since she (I assumed) wants to find a taggie to flood on, why dont we gave her an URL to create her own taggie and flood herself?? I mean... Isnt it better to talk to a robot or system rather than insulting people?? This shows that 'Anon' is not in the right state of mind to talk to anyone or mention anything to Diana.

Haix... Crazy people.. I think I gonna end my post soon. I have to revise tomorrow in Canberra from 10am onwards and I have put myself at risk by asking that 'Anon' to face me tomorrow 10am onwards in Canberra. A good thing or a bad thing?? I dont know but once I know who you are, then that's it. I can be 'Anon' friend but before that, please stop the trash talking or else the person who gets to lose everything is her. 'Anon', I can be your listener of your problems but insulting is not allowed. Smile, 'Anon', you need someone to accompany you, that's all... Haha..

Today's lecture in NYP was a short one. I think it was a good thing to have Mr Badri to help us scoop the necessary topics for us to study for our coming Microeconomics Examination. The first test would be Statistics and I have not study it yet. Hence, I gonna study tomorrow. Hopefully, it isnt gonna be in Innova Junior College. My God-sis, Xin Ni, asked if I could just accompany her to study in Innova during her 2 hours of agony trying to take care of a booth for tomorrow's Open House. Well, I have no objections but isnt that very weird to have a visitor doing his revision??!! Gosh!! Zhi Wei, whose in IJC now, would be thinking that I'm nuts... Now, its a 'should' or 'should not' decision to stay in IJC to do my revision...

Anyway, after the lecture, Doris, Siew Boon, Bei Yi and I went to KFC to have our meal. Actually, I really wish to apologise to them that it was because of me that the venue for our meal has changed. I'm really sorry about it. My bad... It's just that I'm always being so spendthrift and when I looked at the sighboard of having a meal of $10 plus, I just stand root to the spot and hesitated. So sorry about it people... I think next time I would ask where we are going first before I would spoil your mood for eating good food.

After the meal, I took a bus back home. From 2 buses to reach my house, I took 4 instead. First, I assumed that the bus was 859 but when I board the bus, the bus was going to the opposite direction. This means that I was boarding the wrong bus! OMG! Not again??!!! I alighted at Chong Pang and went over the next bus stop to board the bus. However, I was rushing to go back home since the 'O' Levels are out very soon. I took 856 and reached Sembawang and then I rushed to take 962 to go back home. Once I reached home, I packed my stuff and left the house, reaching the school around 3pm by boarding 962 once again. By then, I was telling myself, how blur could I be when doing such simple things??!!

In school, I got to hear some good results and bad ones before I went for my soccer with Jeremy. Jia Long finally got his 'A1' for Mother Tongue after 6 attempts. Amazing. You can call that dtermination but I called that success. Hmm... First 4 attempts are 'B3'. After that, the 5th attempt got him an 'A2' but with more effort, actually no effort at all since he didnt study the topic, he got an 'A1'. Great! While for Jonathan, who seems to be depress for the next few days I assumed, just improved by a mark for his L1R5. Er.... Okay... Next was Eugene... Who also improved by 2 marks but wasnt enough to pull his L1R5 to be lower. Yet, the good thing is that they did improved. Once again, a 'should' or 'should not' situation to think whether the result is a good one or a bad one. Its all depend on how a person thinks about it. Yet, the best option is to think positive at all times. That's the spirit!!

I went to play soccer with Jeremy after that. Although I played 1 vs 1 with him and he won, I think I was quite unlucky on that day. First, I keep hitting the ball into the wrong side of the goal. Next, I keep hitting the post. That is why I told Jeremy before that my strikes would always hit the pole and guess what, the 'GOD OF POLES' is back. Haix.. I dont want that??!! However, right now, my injuries could be serious and soccer could be postponed in my timetable as examinations are near. This means that tomorrow there's no soccer as the gang is going to town while I'm staying at Woodlands to complete my revision, next week is New Year's Eve so dont ever talk about playing too unless you expect some juggling at the table while people are having their reunion dinner... Then 2 weeks later, I would be still having my examinations, so soccer should be put aside. Furthermore, I dont think my Mum would allow me to play too or else I would be skinned alive.

Dinner was to meet Jeremy, V.J. and Reeza to eat the Indian restuarant at Little India. I wasnt feeling that good as I have said I'm short of money and I'm not gonna spend a large sum of money on food in a single day. It was V.J. who treat us again and I feel bad about it. We have a wonderful meal and some things happened. One was when we wanted a 1.5 litres of bottled water and th waiter shook his head and took a jug over here. We were speechless. Alright... Maybe they dont understand what we were talking about. we ordered again and finally, they gave us what we want. The food was quite delicious too. I was thinking of saving my money and treat my friends for a meal at there during my birthday, since its still a long way to go... Haha... Great!! I need to start saving money from now on.. Try...

We went back by bus and it took us an hour. During that journey, there wasnt much seats and all we could do is stand. I was really tired and I dont feel like chatting with them. I stand at one corner, listen to my music and fell asleep. I was just standing, and holding the pole in front of me. Soon, I was sleeping and yet holding tightly on it, in case I fell to the ground if the bus hits the brakes suddenly. I think the rest of the passengers would think I was the best guy in the bus, who could tolerate for nearly 1 hour and without fail, still sleeping nicely. It was not a good nap at all as I was having aches at my back. When I got the chance to seat, too late, 10 minutes later and I alighted at Sembawang. ZZZzzzzz....

Before I end my crap for today, a few things would be happening or already happened. One would be Cherrie's overseas studies. I have no objections in it but I definitely would feel sad and missed her. To be honest, she is the first gal who I know in V.E.. I still remember that night before the V.E. camp, Yong Hong added her in our conversation as I was very shy, I supposed, to meet the rest of the V.E. mates. I could be very quiet when meeting new people, that's why. Anyway, I told her, 'I come in peace...' and she typed 'Lol!' Interesting... The next day in camp, I did managed to see her and didnt expect that we are in the same grouping for the camp. Thanks for the wonderful memories, Cherrie. The days in the camp were indeed memorable and all I could say is that I have a wonderful time talking to you at times, whether its online or in person. Your laughter would not be forgotten as it makes the whole V.E. to be lively and ensure that every one enjoys their practise. Have a safe journey and work hard on your studies. Your ambition to be a Psychologist can be fulfilled. All the best, Cherrie... As always what I mentioned, smile all the time!!

Another thing would be the death of a Taiwanese star, Xu Wei Lun. Alright, I dont know whose she but she died at the age of 28. Its a sad thing to hear that, especially people who died early. For me, I think that maybe it isnt fair for God to take her away, though I dont believe in such things. However, such a beautiful lady and she died in a car crash. Its very... very... I dont know... I'm speechless while I'm typing. That morning when I was watching the Youtube clips and I saw her picture, she was indeed very sweet looking. No wonder others said she was the angel in many people's eyes. Yet, the reporters were too much at times, asking some stupid questions that would make the victim's parents to feel more hurt. I dont know why, probably they didnt use their brain at most times.

However, I just want to say is 'Rest in peace'... In life, we do not know when we will leave the place called Earth. Sometimes, when I looked at clips of death, I would ponder what will happen to me if I'm gone. Is there any pain in me? What if my closest ones are gone? Will I be suffering terribly? I dont know these answers. I dont want to know and I dont feel like knowing at all. Reseach has been done about Wei Lun's case and realised that her death, which was known as 128 as she died on January 28th, was a bad number for her. Everything is linked with 128. Her words about death in her book was on page 128; the day she had accident was on 128; her parents who bought a house also have the house number of 128; a past Taiwanese star also died a few years ago in Jan 28th (128)... What's more, in the day of the accident, there was this magazine in the car, had a 'Deathnote' image and the page was... 128... Now people would be thinking if the Deathnote curse does exist or not. The Taiwan media could be creative but still, my conclusion is whether to believe in such things or not... it depends whether its a 'Should' or 'Shouldn't' decision...

I'm really tired now... Think my sickness is recovering but I dont think so my body is back to fitness. I have been suffering from pains on my left thigh and I fear that it is a muscle tear. Haix... My muscles... they are getting weaker each day... This means plenty of rest is needed... Haix... REST!!! SLEEP!! Here I come... (Another decision...zzz... What the.... -.-" )

Yep! I'm dying of coughing, sneezing and headaches. Exams are just 2 weeks away and all these things happen to me. Some of my classmates were sick too. Maybe the whole business course would have the same symptoms and the examinations could postpone?? Haha... Well, I dont think the school would do such arrangements for us. Anyway, right now its 7am. I watched the 2nd half of England vs Spain and England lost. However, I didnt care about it. Its was the same senario of switching on the radio and doing my work. I didnt watch the match except hearing the applause from the crowd. Now, I know that that's a goal. Haha...

I was busying practising my Powerpoint for my ICA test later today. I actually wanted to do it last night but I was too tired and I was having severe headaches. For the past few days, my head could feel a sharp pain, and all I could do is to press on that area and try to think of someway or somehow, what to do to kill this pain. Yet, its impossible! I dont expect myself to whack my own head??!! Well, let's just hope that my coughing, sneezing and headaches would cure as soon as possible. Every few minutes, I'm coughing and its very difficult for me to do my work, especially the cough is so bad that you feel pain in your throat and lungs. Gosh!! I need more rest, I think...

Before I end here, yesterday I got the news that my group's P.O.M. project got 'B+'. Amazing... I mean, a 'B+' refers to the marks ranging from 75 to 79 and in Secondary school, that's already an 'A' grade. Haha... That is why when others asked whether if Polytechnic is easier than 'A' Levels, I dont agree with it. Part of your marks can come from your own effort for studying but another part is your group work project that gives you the grading for that module. Hence, education is not that easy as youngsters imagine. All I could say is... 'Work hard'. If not, 'Work harder...' Haha...

Haix... Dying again... Gonna take my nap soon...

Plague with flu, cough and a minor sorethroat, I think I'm going to have a hard time sleeping these days. Each night, I would be having block nose and I couldnt sleep well. I think I have accidentally eat too much heaty food that results to this. Alright, it should not be classified as 'Accidentally' but I think I was not aware that's all. Anyway, right now, I should be having extra rest but typing this blog is what I want to do. Since I seldom update my blog these days, Diana and Cindii would be questioning me in a few days time. Haha.. Maybe not but all I know is that, there are so many things happened around me.

Anyway, let me bring you back to Wednesday, which was the last time I step into the National Stadium. After more than 3 decades of history, the National Stadium would be closed to the public. Moreover, that night was the 1st leg of Singapore vs Thailand. Alright, to me, as a soccer fan, there are a few things I hope it would occur. First, Singapore to win that game in the National Stadium, secondly, a full house of 5500 crowd in the stadium, and lastly, a wonderful and exciting match. Before the match started, I was already seated at the stadium around 7pm. As I look around the place, I could see the beautiful view of the sun setting. After that, I walked up to the top of the stadium to have a good view of the people queuing outside the stadium. Amazing view!! They were like little ants entering the stadium and as I looked up, it was the moon. Wow... Ever see the moon and the sun so close before, and it was at the National Stadium?? Now that's what I call amazing scenary. We are not talking an eclipse here but seriously, it marks the end of National Stadium with a unique atmosphere.

8pm strikes and the match begins. Everyone were chanting and shouting for the teams. For me, I was shouting too. As usual, all the vulgarities are heard everywhere. There's one scene when someone threw a bottle down and guess what, that person was having a nice chat with the police after that. LOL!! That was a stupid thing that anyone could do. The match was a close encounter for Singapore as they were draw at 1-1 and what happen next was controversal. A penalty was given and the Thais walked off. An intense 15 minutes waiting and we saw Singapore score the penalty to get the score to be 2-1 at full time. As what I just mentioned, a win for Singapore, a full 55000 crowd and a nice match. Haha... Indeed, Sunday, Singapore won the ASEAN Cup. Thank you for the win. The Thais were good but luck wasnt at their side. Nice play... Haha...

Anyway, Saturday I was playing soccer too. Before that day, which was a Friday, I was suffering from cramps after the basketball game. Both legs were having some tight muscle situation. Hence, Saturday was soccer time and only Eugene, Jonathan, Jimmy and me were playing. The rest were having their exams. Haix... We lost the match, most of them. I only managed to win a match but none of us in the Goal Tally board scored. I think we were just too exhausted after the basketball game, which was an intense and physical match. Anyway, back to the match, I was with Jimmy, Szaywan, Ahnan, Ahnan's cousin and another local guy . We were in one team and we were losing a goal.

I dont know why but I dont feel like losing at all. I want to prove that our team could fight back at level terms. Thus, I was playing every hard. Nan's cousin told me to play hard too and I did try my best. Tackles by me allow Jimmy and Alex to have the ball. However, Alex wasnt doing the right thing to slot the ball into the goal. He missed more than 10 shots, which was indeed a disaster for the team. At one point, the ball hits my gut and to make sure I clear the ball, I just whack it high up. Seriously, if its in Old Trafford, it would land near the penalty area of the goalie. From one end of the court, the ball flew over the opponent's goalie and onto the grassy pitch. Now, lets just say that I'm the 1st guy who whack the ball so high and far away. A new record for the new ball in used. Haha... We lost the match by 2-1.

However, it was a nice match. Although my muscles were tighten up again, I was able to persevere. Moreover, thanks for Nan's cousin, who gave me the praise of a tireless player. Maybe I cant be a Cristiano Ronaldo but Gary Neville?? Haha... Who knows, I'm only good at the right foot position. Right now, my legs are still feeling the numbness. I cant believe it that after a night's rest, my legs were having cramps once I woke up. I think I would need to change my sleeping position?? Haha...

Diana... Dont get bored with my post, since soccer is my life... Hahaha... Hope you enjoy it, at least enjoy the part where I mentioned about the National Stadium... hehe... Smile... I'll rest more...

I didnt post much about this week. After the crap review about the NYP Open House, I was getting ready for my ICa presentation. I dont know whether its a screw up job but I hope everyone would be happy and relief that projects are getting lesser. However, the bad news is that in less than 3 weeks time, its time for exams. I have not start studying yet so I think I would start studying tomorrow. Probably doing my homework at the nearby Macdonalds or maybe at a quiet void deck either in the Ang Mo Kio or Sembawang area.

Just merely 5 days and a lot of things happen. I got stress up with projects and I have to do the rest if there's any problems. There's no reason for that but as a team, we must help each other and make sure that everything would move on smoothly. I agree that for Microeconomics, I was working like a bull. I have to do certain editing until I got fed up with it at times. I dont blame the team for that as they did do their part. Whereas for P.O.M., I think everyone did try their best to do their tasks but however, there are rubbish given to me at times. Sometimes, I have the phobia of working in a team. Its sad that sometimes your ideas are rejected or team members would feel that your contribution is very little or none although you have been trying to help. Sometimes, I feel like carrying the monitor in front of me, slammed it at the person's face who give me rubbish work. That's life. We dont expect good things to happen too often. However, we could make sure that the bad things wont affect our day too. As what I have mentioned. I dont wish to say any names on my disappointment towards my teammates in projects. I just want to tell them, 'Thank you' instead. For those who did put an effort, thanks. For those who didnt or at least, nothing at all, thanks too...

Monday's presentation was a fun one. We started as the 3rd group but when the lecturer left the class for a moment, we skipped our slides and when he returned, we told him we had finished telling the class about the 1st queston. Phew! Mr Hew, our Microeconomics lecturer, believed it and we went on and end our project without any Q&A for us. Phew... I cant believe it Dennis called Mr Hew as 'Mr Hewie'... Diao... It was a good laugh indeed. Haha... After Monday's presentation, then come Wednesday's. A frustrating project that I have done, P.O.M., which nearly killed my whole brain cells in 2 hours. We acted out the skit, which was funny too but our presentation was too long. We exceeded 1 minute but I dont mind losing the 5 marks. I think we could have done better if one of my teammate was willing to do a proper task in the work given to that person. To ask that person to write a script for the presentation, and its isnt a fairytale story which is complicated. Yet, that person didnt do that at all. Haix... I feel like killing that person but too bad, the law doesnt permits that to happen.

After a good presentation, I went to watch Singapore vs Thailand in the National stadium. This would be the last time I would be seeing this big stadium, with a full house of 55000 fans. The game was a rough one, with tackles flying everywhere and injuries occurred. Alam Shah did well to score the first goal for Singapore, which gives us the lead. However, Thailand was able to score back by rounding the keeper. It was a fair challenge to the referee but to me, it wasnt. The Thailand player elbowed our fellow footballer, which allows the defensive flow to be broken. Luckily, a penalty was given for Singapore to win the controversal match. Thailand's walk off from the pictch stunned everyone. When referee blows the whistle after the tackle, everyone shouted. Then, he showed the penalty signal, which leds to everyone to stand up. However, once Thailand left the pitch, all hell break lose. Fans were cursing and swearing. Dont worry, I'm also doing that, which is a normal process for all fans. When the penalty was taken, Singapore led 2-1. Although I dont know when the match ends, many of the Lion fans were blowing the whistle, trying to bluff everyone that its final.. Haha... Nice job.

Thursday's tuition was not a good one. I nearly blast myself in front of my student, Henry. Although he's only Primary One, kids usually would be mischievous. I wanted to scold him but I cant. He wasnt paying much attention and it makes me go crazy at times. I dont mind him playing but not with my pens in my pencil box, please!! The question he gave me was a question for me to do some soul searching... Am my teaching techniques wrong?? Are my questions too hard to answer?? Is Yong Hong better than me in teaching?? Well, Yong Hong is indeed better than me. My buddy introduces me this work so its definitely he got the assurance to do such a job. After the tuition, I just walk back to the bus stop, took a bus home and rest. I dont feel like doing my projects at all. I want to think, think about that day's event. A friend of mine told me that maybe I expect too much from him and asked me not to think too much, since kids these days are hard to handle. Yeah... I understand but sometimes... I dont know... Feeling lost again.

By the way, I just came back home from basketball and soccer. I wanted to relax myself by kicking a stupid ball into the net. However, we end up playing basketball. In the end, Eugene's team won but seriously, it doesnt matter to me. I dont have the confidence to win during that time. I dont mind to have a weak team but I think I wasnt determine to win the game. As a person with great determination and fighting spirit, I had lost the fire that I once had. However, after some struggle, I was back, not totally. In the end, I'm suffering from cramps at my legs, both legs... OMG!! I hate it when its soccer tomorrow. Oh yeah! We bought a new ball today, which cost us $21. Not bad. Its the new ball that the EPL is using right now. Cool!!!

Before I end today's post, I was wondering what would happen in the future. 'Seeing is Believing', that is what Lance Armstrong had once said. Things are going crazy in Derik's blog but I dont wish to interfere. Since I'm just a reader, and this issue doesnt concern about me, then it should be alright. What I hope is that the quarrel would stop. I might be thinking too much but honestly... I dont know... I cant explain that now with so many things in my mind now. Things like relationship is hanging at the pivot of a person's life, not me. A friend questioned me... What is the real meaning of 'LOVE'? I couldnt answer. Its not because I'm cold blooded or what but I think it should be defined by oneself.

If a guy is willing to sacrifice everything he has to the gal that he wants to be forever with, is it a good thing? Gals would be thinking it should be a fairytale story but I dont think so. Sometimes, you wish that the person is there, even with a simple SMS would do. Although the age factor could cause problems, for example, 5 or 6 years gap. Yet if both of them knows what they want in life and its to be together, then that's what I called 'Love'. I would admit this in my blog. I dont understand the word, 'Love', probably I'm losing it. I understand 'Motherly Love', the kind of friendship that contains 'Love' and the passion of doing a thing that you like. However, the true meaning of 'True Love', to me, I have lost the privilege for that. I dont know why.

That is why I hope my friends or anyone who knows me would be happy, thats all. I dont mind to be single for life. Maybe that's the route I have choose to take. There would be regrets and changes but who knows, I may find one someday. However, all I can tell my friend is that... Good luck, Dude!! Love is indeed in the air... Haha.. Resting now... Tired...