Valentine's Day is today and alot of things just happened. The good, the bad, the funny... blah blah blah... Let's just start from the morning then. Alright, I know that today wasnt a good or bad day for me. However, after she (friend) told me that she's not feeling that well and she didnt attended school, I didnt have a good sleep by then. Her message was around 7 plus and to me, it was a torture as I only had 3 hours of sleep. I slept at 4 and woke up at 7 plus just to see her message. I tried to sleep but hard to do so. Something is just super wrong with my nerves I think. Anyway, my sleep wasnt the thing I'm worried but was how do I pass her the present. I had aimed for the gift but had not bought it yet. That's why, I was planning to buy some time in order to buy the gift and past it to her...

Anyway, I woke up again at 10 plus. This time, its my Mum who disturbed me. OMG... Never mind. We had a short chat before she left home and I prepared to use the computer, as well as asking her if she's alright or not. Thinking that she would meet 'Violent' around 1 plus, I left home at 1pm and went to Causeway Point to find the gift. Too bad, the gifts are not that nice and isnt the one that I'm looking for. No choice so I went to Sun Plaza and bought it instead. Haha... Too bad, I dont have a picture of the soft toy or else I would put it online. Haha... I bought the soft toy, a piggy, of course, since she's one blur piggy. Haha.. With th soft toy covered in a box and a card in it, I think it was enough. I went back to Canberra to have my meal as she was busy in school and was waiting for Yue Feng to follow her to the Polyclinic.

I went out at 3 plus and it took me a long time to reach the Polyclinic. I admit that I was really lost. I dont expect A.M.K. Polyclinic is in the middle of the several shopping malls. I was worried that something would happen to her and ran to the Polyclinic and found her at the 2nd storey with her friends. Alright, she went into the room to get her result of her test (CONFIDENTIAL) and it was an infection. I was getting more worried than before as I didnt know what caused it to happened and what could be the aftermath of having such infections. Anyway, the lot of 6 of us went to collect her medicine at the counter. While waiting, Yue Feng was doing some stupid things, which... make everyone laugh and I was just too embarrass to go on. Haha.. Actually the whole lot of them are crazy but Yue Feng was the haywire one. Haha... Oops, my bad!!

After the Polyclinic visit, we went to the library since she wanted to borrow some books. While for me, I went to look for the soccer magazines, which is a habit that I always have while I'm in the library. It seems that I would go crazy with soccer magazines, which doesnt even show the action but words. However, I think I could learn more about how the players perservere during their tough times of life.... Yeah... maybe... Anyway, I went to the Health Section and read a book about infections and learnt that her infection could be serious if no proper treatment is made. That makes me panic after reading the facts. However, I hope she knows that what she needs to do and what she must not. Shortly, we went to the playground and the gals, except for one, went for the swing while I just stand at the playground and stare at the scenary around me. The gals kept calling me 'Wei De Kor Kor', also known as 'Big Brother'. OMG!! I dont mind that but when they started saying it in the library, it was getting onto my nerves. Diao... You can feel your hair stand while they say that and it sound so... gay... but no choice, they are gals and they mend to sound so... You know... hehe...

I passed her the gift before I head back to school where I promised Jeremy to buy food for him. Since its a promise that I've made, I would need to do it no matter what. Haha... Anyway, I just hope that she would like the gift that I gave and I really hope that she would stay healthy every day, every moment, every second. I reached school around 6 plus and left to Sun Plaza as it was the start of our [Operation Confession]. Everything went smoothly but turned out to be... negative. While on the way to the beach in Sembawang, Chris cried. She cried because of a lot of things; stress, Band, studies, teachers, etc. Many many things. All we could do is to console her and let her cry out to feel better. This is the second time I see her cried in front of me. The last time was when she's in Sec 1, and I was at her house. I dont know what happened at that time but she just cried, ending up Yun Ting and I comforting her.

As a senior of the Band, and the problem lies partly because of the Band, I think I should be resposible for what she has suffered. As seniors, we tend to push all the responsibility to our juniors or current leaders but we didnt think about how they feel. What's more bad about it was we dont even help them and end up following others, pushing the blame to leaders who did tried their best to make sure the Band exist. I feel bad by then.

Once we reached the beach, Jonathan was ready to make his confession. I tried not to see it but since it was dark, I was able to see the actions of his. He took a bouquet of flowers, knelled down, and ask the gal of his dreams about the question. Who's the gal? CONFINDENTIAL!!! Haha.. I dont want this issue to be an opened one but hope every one respects each other's privacy, that's all. Anyway, [Operation Confession] turned out to be a failure. Sometimes, we cant say that 'Love' is everything. It does not mean that the other will accept you although you accept the person already.

After the failure, we sat at the beach for nearly an hour or more. I sat alone, listening to my music, and waiting for her message if she does reply. Looked across the waters of Singapore is Malaysia and we could see fireworks displayed at the other island. Looking up, the sky was covered with stars. Beautiful... While seating at the sandy concrete, thinking about a lot of things, the image of her flew past my mind. I gonna make a confession in this blog. I dont know why but I think I have feelings for her. I dont know. I just wish that I could be with her everyday, wish that I could be the one who takes all her pain. As what I have mentioned, 'Love' isnt everything. She likes me as a brother while I likes her as if she's my gal of my dreams. Yet, I think she has a guy of her dreams, which couldnt be replaced. All I could do, is to be her wings, to let her soar and protect her from being hurt. The chance of being yours seems impossible for me but I'm willing to hold on and still, protect you at any cost. Is that an act of 'Love'? I dont know... However, I wish I could embrace you if you cry, smile when you laugh...

We walked back to Sembawang MRT Station from the beach and by then, my legs were aching. Between the knees, I could feel the ache which Diana had felt and I think its killing me like nuts. Anyway, everyone went back to their homes after 11pm. I was tired but I realised that I didnt study at all. This is the worst thing I ever did for this week. Exams are less than a week and I'm still doing such stupid things. Tomorrow, I would be studying with Raymond and Kenneth on Statistics and P.O.M.. Haix... Hope we could do well in these modules.

Before I end for today's post, I just want her to notice this if she ever reads this post. PIGGY, remember to drink water everyday, not soft drinks. At least 8 glasses a day. Other than that, eat more healthy food. Vegetables is better since it gives you more fibre. (Too bad, I'm a F&N student... Haha) Also, if there's any discomfort in your body, inform someone please. You can inform me too and I can accompany you to see the doctor as soon as possible. Haix... You always make me so worried. Oh yeah!!! Remember to eat your medicine regularly, dont be a blur pig like just now, eat the whole medicine though the instructions states 'take half of the mixture'. Dont do such silly mistakes alright??

Wow... So many things. Maybe I do care because I like her. However, there's one thing I know is that I do not want to lose any close ones in my life. Losing a few good people in my life makes me feel... I dont know... Sad?? Remorse?? I cant find the word now but one thing is for sure, if you are a friend of mine, I would protect you no matter what. Why? That's because I dont want to lose anyone from now on. Time is precious... though its always being wasted...