Just a brief summary of what's happening yesterday. Anyway, this would be a boring post, hence sorry for crapping... Well, before I met Jeremy to go to the chalet, I had to went back to Canberra Secondary to get from Ms Sasi the exam papers of N Levels NT English. Well, there were 2 things that shocked me. Firstly, I didnt know that there's a parent meeting in the school. Moreoever, the meeting would start from 2 plus and ends around 8 plus. Crazy... Whose idea was that to have such a way of parent meeting??!! Next was the standards between NA and NT English. I didnt know that the difference was that big and I think I should help Alvin with the basics first before jumping to the next level.

Well, after that, I met Jeremy and we took a cab down to Downtown East to get the keys. The location was J - Room 1932. Wow... Think anyone who wants to buy a 4D could use this number. LOL!! Well, once we put our stuff down, we started to set up the projector, X-Box and others. We started our gaming but soon, Jeremy and I went for our breakfast. That was around 4 plus... Haha.. V.J. and Vincent came and we watched a movie, known as 'Yamoto'. Nice film actually, which describes the largest ship of Japan during the World War 2.

While watching the movie, V.J. went for a shower, which was about 1/2 hour. At first, we thought he fainted in the toilet or he's taking a cleansing bath. However, he came out and show us something quite disgusting, which only the guys in the chalet shall know... Soon, we head down to Macdonalds for our 'dinner', also known as my lunch. The guys were thinking of playng pool after the meal but the shop was closed. Everyone waked back to the room to get our rest.

We started to play some games before our rest, as usual, Winning Eleven was in the list too. 4 players in a team was already a disaster since we lost to a team that is rated at Level 1 in the game. Many offsides... Missed shots... Haix... Never mind. We end up winning the game by 4-1 and 5-1 respectively. Haha...

Later we should be going to Escape Theme Park. Too bad, I cant join the rest to watch the Liverpool match. Haha... Think that should be Eugene's idea. Hence, I think soccer is aborted. Think again, with so many things in my mind, I think I need to concentrate with my stuff once the chalet is over. Tomorrow there's swimming training. A torture again... Let's hope its another April Fool done by my Mum..

I'm really exhausted. It's just that I'm glad to be back home once again. I believe that today's a long day for me. I woke up at 8 plus, head to Canberra and get the cardboards for the decorations. Straight after that, I went to NYP for V.E. and to help out in the banners. I didnt do much but by that time I was really tired. I could feel how exhausted was I. I tried to do some stuff but I end up doing nothing and I wasnt in the mood to smile at all. For more evidence, I have one now and I realised that I had ate a full proper meal today; Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner... lol... Before singing, I had Macdonalds... After singing, I had Malay food... Wow... Hungry...

Anyway, I head back to Canberra again in order to teach Alvin. I was tried and probably frustrated when he called my phone and asked where am I... It does get a little irritating when he calls me and he's tone is always the 'yelling' type, which irritates a person when he or she is not in a mood to do things at all. I reached Canberra and started my teaching. A simple composition to know his standards in English.

Then, before I end the tuition, Jasmine called. She sounded urgent as she asked me to call her back. Alright, I called and she was crying. Its hard to calm a gal when she's crying and I really feel that something was definitely wrong... Well, she and her sister had a big fight and she's injuried. I dont know the extent of her injury but I do hope she recovers soon. Most of all, as for her grandpa, let's just hope the operation was a success just a couple of hours ago.

After all the chatting, I head to Tampines to teach the kid, Henry. First, a big rascal which couldnt be controlled. Now, a small rascal which I also have a hard time to control. I was so angry that I felt like shouting at him. Haix... I think I was having a bad day. Luckily the tuition ended earlier since he's heading to the movies straight after tuition. Phew... I need rest!!!

Tomorrow would be the chalet... Tired... Jeremy was thinking that once we head there, we would start to play X Box... I think I have a better plan... I reached there, lie on the bed... and SLEEP!! That's an ideal plan to get back the sleep that I had lost for the past week. Haha.. Time to take my nap again... >_<

Yesterday I went with the VJ and gang, well, not really the complete gang, since there's only Jeremy, Valerie, Alvin, Cindy, V.J. and me. We watched the 'Mr. Bean' movie, which was hilarious yet lame. However, I did enjoy that. Its pretty easy to understand the jokes since I'm also known as the lame one. Anyway, after the movie, I went to had dinner with the rest but end up eating nothing and went back home... Sort of... I had to travel around Sembawang to do some things before heading home.

Well, I was busy with all the V.E. help-out and I'm dead tired by noon. By the way, I reached NYP at noon too. Right now, sitting at the Computer Lab of Canberra Secondary, I'm wondering where's my holidays? I mean, yesterday the movie was about Mr. Bean's vacation and come to think about it, where's mine?? Alright, I'm having one now but I'm doing quite a number of tasks during the holidays. There isnt any rest at all. Canberra Charity Soccer Tournament... V.E. practice... Tuition aka working... Now, I decided to help Alvin with his English. Although he's a rascal to me at times, I'm still willing to help him. I dont know why...

I think my brain has been burning day and night without resting, thus I would just agree to what the person asked for. How foolish I could be??!! Well, I think I would be very busy tomorrow. There's practise tomorrow and I need to come back to school, since Jeremy helped me to get from Sasi the difference between NA English papers and NT English papers. Heard that the standard is really a huge gap. I dont no whether I could help Alvin or not but I would still try my best.... Just hope he would concentrate with his work and dont talk big words with me or else... or else... he's dead... Muhaha... Kidding...

Chalet is on friday and I dont know whether my Mum allow me to go or not. Last night I just asked her and she say 'Hmm...' and that's it. What does this answer mean?? Haix... Too many things to follow. I hope after the chalet for this week, I could really take a 14 hours nap everyday. Haha... That would be wonderful.

Haix... Fully packed day for tomorrow as I need to rush to Canberra to collect something and straight away back to NYP for V.E. and back to Canberra again, probably helping Alvin... Then, tuition in the evening... Gonna rush to Tampines before calling it a day... ZZ.... Gonna go home now...

Composing a midi could be tiring. What's worst is that I spend the whole day clicking all the small notes into the software. I end up meeting V.J. in school at 1 plus instead of what I had told him, which was 11.30am. Haha... Its just that I'm been given to do some tasks, which was a challenging one since I never explore the software that well.

Well, I was feeling better today but still unable to run or walk too fast. I had swim too much during yesterday's training. I used 1 hour and still end up doing the wrong techniques for backstroke. I think the lifeguards patrolling around would be thinking there's a mad man in the middle of the pool. Someone was in the middle of the pool, hitting the water continuously. Yeah... that was me. I was so angry with myself. I wanted to try harder but still, unable to do so. I end up doing 50 metres freestyle, which was a total timing of 46 seconds. Not good at all. I was targeting less than 45 seconds since I'm good in it.

With all the training, today I managed to walk into school is a miracle. Anyway, while I was doing my stuff, Alvin came and talked to me. Few minutes later, I followed Mr Siva for the meeting with the representatives of 'Rapture Gaming', known for being part of the helpers in the 'World Cyber Games'. We had a meeting for 1 hour and it was my first time in such a formal manner, attentively listen to the important decisions made by Mr Siva. Although I have some doubts with what Siva has said to them, I just nod my head and say 'Yes'... Lol!! Quite stupid isnt it?? Yet, I have no choice. To win the hearts of these people, I need to do something that is positive and pleasant. Moreoever, they are helping us to discuss the issue with Microsoft... Hmm... That's big business...

Night falls and I went for V.E. for my vocal training. I was glad to see Wei Qiang to be there, as well many other seniors. I think our new Committee is currently doing a good job. I hope we could strive our best and do whatever we can to make sure V.E. goes smoothly well. Haha... Haix... Tired now... Tomorrow there's gym with Andy, V.E. help-out, helping Alvin with his English and Henry with his Maths when the day darkens... OMG!! Shagged!!!

I just feel like adding pictures that I have taken with my handphone into this post. Anyway, these are the pictures that I find it nice... yeah... I think so... Well, its all captured within the few months. Enjoy...

Yes!! I made it!! Alright, everything goes smoothly and well during the whole procedure of the sneak out. I went to Jia Long's house just in time for the match and left the place straight away. It took me 20 minutes to travel from Woodlands to Sembawang, same goes to the distance when coming back. Anyway, England draw with Israel. I really dont like that ending... Haix... England's hopes of qualifying the Euro 2008 can just kiss goodbye I think. Well, another solution is to kiss goodbye to the manager of the country. Hmmm... Not bad... Haha... Kiss goodbye... Lol!!

Anyway, I would still need to wait for later's report' whether if my Uncle notice that I have took his bike (bicycle). The few procedures are followed in this way to prevent any suspicion:

1) Make sure everyone in my house is sleeping soundly by 2am before I could head out.
2) When entering my Uncle's house, ensure that minimum noise is created.
3) Get the bicycle carefully, without banging it onto the walls or walkway.
4) Lock the door and gate of my Uncle's house, as quiet as possible.
5) Be back by 5.30am. (Dad would wake up, as well as my Uncle, if both goes to work.)

Noticed that I was able to obey the 5 rules, or regulations above?? Haha... I will update with some pictures but not now, I gonna sleep now... Haha... Mission Accomplished!!! YAHOO!! ZZzz...

1.21pm -> Pictures updated...

From top to bottom: Looks like someone is sleeping at the bed. However, look at the next picture, well, its just a bloster. Haha... Scam!!!

Just had soccer just now and I really want to go to Jia Long's house to watch the match. However, still I need to ask my Mum about it. Anyway, back to today's soccer game first. I was playing like crazy since I was running up and down the flank. Things were perfect until I teamed up with Gavin and after he did an own-goal, all hell break lose. We started to quarrel and it was a tough verbal abuse. Alright, I was at the wrong for shouting and I was at fault for screaming at him straight after the own goal. I mean... Its not a big deal and I was not stressing him but maybe my way of saying was harsh??

After that, things went back to normal and a group of guys wanted to challenge us. They are fast, faster than I thought. They seems to be playing for school team, I guess... Well, it was quite tough to chase for the ball thus we are playing long range. What's worst, I had a hard time blocking their runs with the ball. Tough but we still won the game by 3-2. I did all the assist and Jimmy scored 3. Alright, I need to update the Goal Tally board later.

Well, thinking that the rest would eat dinner together straight after the game, I was absolutely wrong. Everyone went back home and dinner for tonight is none other than Green Tea... Zzz... Now I'm quite hungry and I hope to eat something as soon as possible. Haix.. probably I would sneak out later at 2 plus to go to Jia Long's house. I gonna borrow my Uncle's bike, well, not borrow but take it from his house... Yeah!!! Sneak in and take it. Maybe I'll put a note and say, 'Bike returned by 5.30am... Sorry... and DONT TELL MY MUM!!!' Alright... Decided... Haha...

These days I seem to be too engross with Football Manager 2007. Haha... I think I want Manchester United to win th league. Haha... Well, actually, I definitely WANT them to win for this season's title. Haix... What am I typing here... I feel so bored now... I feel emptiness and something is weird to me. Hmm... Maybe I've been thinking too much for these few weeks. Feelings and emotions then to be fooling me all the time. I do hate myself at times for having to restand that, and probably thinking why I'm able to see things go on, without giving a halt to ensure my happiness... weird... Haix... Sleep would be better for me today... 11 hours for last night, tomorrow would be 12 then...

In the morning was quite disasterous before I head to Canberra Secondary. Two staff from the PUB pressed my door bell and the first guy, who was a Malay, exclaimed that they would be helping my unit to change the water meter as it was not moving at all. I was in a blur state for a moment before I realised what they are actually planning to do. Thanks to the Chinese guy, who said this in chinese, 'Xiao Jie, Wo Men Shi Lai Xiu Ni De water Meter De...' I was stunned and I feel like cursing that stupid idiot for calling me that, also known in English as 'Miss, we are here to repair the water meter...'

Till now, I still can vividly remember what that guy said. Hate him to the core.... spoil my day and now I'm still considering of having a haircut or not. I was thinking of getting one once the other side of my hair becomes longer but seems that I need to do some planning now. Anyway, I went back to Canberra and helped the Band. Not bad for their playing but bad management by the school staff for changing the positionings in the stage. Stupid and wasting time... Rabbit seems to be doing things in his own way and it does make me feel like the teacher's ideas are all wrong. Well, who cares, as long as the sound can be project to the audience, it would be the best then.

After that, I went to Xiu Hui's BBQ party, which was to send Ken Ken off to Beijing, or Taiwan??? I dont know... Well, the food were mostly burnt since the fire was very strong. You just put a sasuage into the pit for 2 minutes and that's it, the sides are burnt. Haha... Then, we took some pictures, which was quite gay... Stupid Kah Hong, while taking a group picture with him, he whacked me and 'SNAP', the picture shows me with a wide mouth... what the... Everyone seems to have fun after all. Alcohol was there and make me feel dizzy for a minute or two but now its better.

Well, tomorrow would be playing soccer, I assumed but it seems that it might not be confirm yet. I'm alright with it but just now, my thigh is suffering a strain, or something else??? Its like my muscles are locked up and I have difficulty to walk. Haix... Please... Not today... and not tomorrow or Sunday... I dont feel like continuing... Sharks... Need more sleep and rest for my battle against FLU and CCAs....19 days to go to SYF... ZZzz...

Firstly, I do really feel bad for not staying at Kenny's chalet since Monday. I really feel that each time he invites me to go to his chalet, I would be ending up having any activities either in Canberra Secondary or NYP. Haix... Anyway, yesterday, I met Doris, with Kenneth and Fi-Fi before heading to Tampines to take a cab to reach the chalet. Well, Doris did gave the all of us a surprise after she wore something that is imaginable for work. She looks like she's going for a cos-play instead of working. What was her reply when we asked her why she wore like that? She said in the meeting, everyone look at the top half, not the bottom half, so its alright after all... -.-"

Anyway, the rest started to play mahjong and I was asked to join in. I dont feel like gambling but end up doing it. Alright, no one force me but I was trying not to spoil the mood after all. Well, I lost $5 in the end but end up dividing my share with Huai Xin since she played more games than me. I played till the 3rd round and I gave up. As usual, I'm not good at gambling so I was trying to run away from it. Well, I end up guiding Huai Xin in the game since she's weak in it. We end up losing $5 at first and the 2nd game was much better, losing only $1. Not bad after all. Our wins are small but yet not risky in losing big bucks.

I was very tired while watching her play as I was busy since in the morning to help out the V.E. in the coming Club Crawl event. Tired... I begin to fall asleep and got whacked on the thigh by Huai Xin to concentrate the game. Then again, another whack because I shacked my leg. That was the only way to stay awake but also known to be losing more money for the more superstitious ones. After the game, it was 2.30am. Wow... About 5 hours in the game, which can kill my brain cells.

I slept around 4am but was a torture as the mosquitos are biting me all over my body. I woke up at 8 plus, wash up and packed the place before I left to NYP for my V.E. helpout. Tired than before and the worst part was the Club Room was not opened yet. I dont blame anyone for not opening since I came too early and I'm not helping out either, just to get some sleep thats all.

Yi Tian came at 11.30am and I was sleeping outside the room for 1/2 hour. It was a nice nap actually... Haha... I went in, put my stuff and sleep. When Cai Yun came, I had just woken up and started to do the noticeboard. We finished everything today!! Yes!! Exhausted for 2 days and finally we complete it. next up would be the V.E. Blog... I need to do something about it to make it more attractive, I guess...

After school, I went to meet my Mum, Dad and Sister for dinner at a restuarant at Causeway Point. It was Dad's birthday so no choice. Till now I still never say a word 'Happy Birthday' to him. However, he should know that the meal is a token from the rest of the members in the family. The meal was Thai food and it kills me right from the start. A sip of the Tom Yam soup and I had to consume 1/3 of the lemon tea on the table. Haix... That's the bad thing when you dont like to take in spicy food. After the meal, I went back home, rest!!! Right now, I gonna sleep soon after a few games of PES 6 first... Miss the game so much. Tomorrow would be a short soccer game with Jeremy in school. Haha... Hope the weather is fine.

Haix... Falling sick soon... Bad timing... what's worst, there's Sentosa on Saturday and BBQ tomorrow... Exhausted... Who says a robot can operate 24 hours daily. I think sometimes a rest is necessary too...

Looks like its gonna rain again. Today seems to be a tiring day for me. Last night, I had V.E. practice until 10 plus and I head for dinner with Kah Hong and Paul at the nearby coffee shop. I reached home around 12 plus and was quite tired. In the end, Andy told me if I want to go gym the next day, which is today at 9am. I dont feel like going but since it was quite some time I went to the school gym, I agreed.

I woke up this morning and went to meet Andy. I was late, of course, since when would you see me being punctual all the time. Haha... Well, we entered the gym and realised that the gym was crowded, crowded with the Sport & Wellness staff. While the people who are using the gym facilities are Andy, me and a guy we dont know. That's it. I was not used to the gym I always go to. First up, training my knees. That was a bad start as my positioning of using the machine was wrong and now I'm suffering pains between the joints of my kneecap. GREAT!! Then, I did some running and sit ups before I do some pull ups and end of the session. Sounds simple but I took more than an hour to complete. I think I need to train my arms instead of my legs for now.


Well, I went to V.E. after that and was quite blur with my duties. I feel bad when the rest had done my tasks and I didnt do anything at all. I feel like I'm not taking the responsibility at all. Haha... Well, I dont mind that for now since tomorrow would be another meeting for me and I need to be there by 10am, with the cardboards, which I gonna take from the stall aunites from Canberra Secondary. Thanks alot Aunties, or... Chio Bu?? Haha...

After V.E., I went back to Canberra to listen to the Band. Heard from Mr Lee that SYF would be on the 12th of April, which is 23 days counting down from now. I dont know what is it going to be this time. However, I know that Ang Mo Kio Secondary would be there too but its 9AM!!! What the... In the morning, AGAIN!! The last time the Band had some function in the morning was the Band Exchange and I was late. Haix... Let's hope everything would be smooth... Haha... Also, from Mr Siva, more updates about the Charity Soccer Tournament. Each year when the school organise this activity, it means speeding more money for the needy students in Canberra. However, if one day I see these needy students holding handphones, I would slice them into pieces... Well, an X-Box 360 competition for FIFA 07 is going to be played on that day. $15 for a person... Haix... Told you... There goes the Alumni's money...

I rushed for tuition, I mean, teaching Henry Maths today. The time slot has changed from Wednesdays to Tuesdays and I was like feeling very tired after so many activities. I think I would need to pray hard if I have my new timetable for semester 1 in Year 2. Let's hope there's no late night lessons. Anyway, I remember mentioning to Ben that I would like my hair to have some white dye on it. I think I found the perfect solution to get that. With the amount of anger in me today just by teaching Henry, I think my hair gonna turn white very soon. If it turns to other colours then it would be amazing. Haix... I would go NUTS with a kid??!! OMG!!! I think I will officially announced it today. From now onwards, Henry would be the FIRST kid I ever taught for tuition and would be the LAST!!! Thank you... Announcement ends...

Haix... The rain now is getting bigger and Mum asked me to keep the clothes that are outside the flat. Nice try, at this hour. With the wind blowing and rain pouring, which ends up my pants getting wet. -.-" Now I have a taste of watching a television, which is Plasma and has High definition (HD) in it. Now, in front of me, the sight of lightning and sound of thunder. My view is facing the window and seriously, now I know whats the true meaning of HD. The sound effect would be clear, just like the real thing, which I'm facing now....Zzzz...

This morning, 12.05am, I went to enter my NYP account to check my academic results and I realised that I had passed all modules for Semester 2. Below are the results of mine.

RESULTS:
Accounting for Assets - C
Microeconomics - C+
Statistical Methods for Business - B+
Principles of Management - C+
Effective Writing Skills - B
Business Software Applications - B

G.P.A. = 2.522

Compared to the targeted results that I had aimed for, I did improved. However, it was on the wrong modules. Anyway, I'm still happy that I passed everything. Haha... Now I could really enjoy myself with the remaining holidays.

Anyway, yesterday I had my meeting at Causeway Point. I didnt expect that the gals would have their meal first. Although I dont mind at all, their decision made me go speechless for a few seconds. They decided to go to Macdonalds for early dinner. Oh no... Not again... Well, as usual, I had my meal with them.

Seeing them eating Macdonalds reminds me of Saturday's visit to the same location, eating at the same outlet. OMG!! Alvin!! You should try to cut down eating too much oily food. Although you do exercise regularly in NPCC, its not that healthy to consume so much unhealthy foods. Your actions reminds me of my cousin when he was young. When my cousin has the money, he bought alot of things to eat but end up unable to finish the food. Hence, Cindy, next time bring a chain to chain your brother from buying too much food at a time. The sight of it do scares everyone. Big eater... wow... I dont even think that people in the Army are asked to eat so much before heading for war. Haha..

Anyway, it was not that scary but I think that I have been eating too much unhealthy foods lately and I really need to visit the gym to tone my muscles. Haix... I think I need to wait for that retard, Jeremy, to end his relief teaching in Canberra Secondary first, or else I would be going to the gym alone at all times and he would be the one who says, 'Hey, never invite me to join you...' -.-"

Swimming was a disaster too. We never enter the water but end up doing CPR on that stupid dummy. Seems like all the rules have changed and I need to take note of the new rules set by the Sports Council. Indeed there are many rules and regulations but I prefer to hope that there are no drowning incidents when I started work. Oh please... Not in Sentosa...

As for now, time to go back to Canberra and do my stuff. V.E. session at 7pm but I have some things not completed so I need to head down to NYP at 5 plus... Busy day...

I just lost to my Mum. I actually asked her if I could go to Jonathan's house to stay for a night but yet she refused. Haix... Mothers... Sometimes, they are just the queen that we, young adults should obey. Its not that she's very mean or being foolish but sometimes, I think I should just obey her, since she's my Mother and I cant make her angry, or else the whole house, the whole family, the whole 'Teo' and 'Loh' relatives would be having a campaign against me. Anti-Wei Teck or Anti-Nicholas campaign?? Oh please no!! Haha...

Anyway, I woke up at 12pm today and started to do my stuff. I'm helping Ms Pan to find good English and Chinese songs that are suitable for her wedding on June. I dont think so I would be invited but all I could give her is the songs, as a gift for her wedding. After that, I went to meet Alvin and Cindy for breakfast at Causeway Point around 3.30pm. While on the way to meet them, my stupid disease starts again. I was sleeping in the bus. OMG!! Something must be super wrong with my body.

We had Macdonalds and we head to the arcade. Alvin was a torture Cindy and me. He was playing this and that, which we had to follow him and watch what he plays. I was feeling tired by then but still continue to tag along, I try to stop myself from feeling tired and see the process of his playing. Anyway, I didnt expect him to play the game of Tennis in such a superb way. He was able to play for 20 minutes and end up losing at the Semi-finals. Alright, he was great in it but wasnt the 'Federer' that I assumed in the game. Haha... Maybe I should give it a try, playing tennis as a new sport would be fun.

We head back to Sembawang and the 2 of them went home while I went to the court for soccer. Today's soccer was quite alright. No injuries, nothing much happened. Its just that I was improving after all. The NYP game was an interesting match and I started to learn how to read the game. Its hard to fight for the ball against Jimmy and Jack but I think if I do things patiently, I should be able to win for it. Anyway, more improvments can be made. Although I lost the game, it was a good match after all. More passings and little mistakes were made. Phew... Yet, I feel like sleeping while playing. Haha...

Anyway, before I end the day, I hope to see a new post in your blog Diana!! Hehe... Nothing much to say but sometimes I really want to help you but I cant. Next time, if there's a chance, if you need a shoulder to lie on, need a listener to hear your story or scolding, let me have a chance to give it a try. Your friend here would try all means to help you. Although its best that you should talk to someone who understands you. Then let me be the one you can talk to if there's really no one you can find. Let me be your silent friend, through actions and not words, to show my care and concern to you. : >

I know that when I tell anyone, all of my friends to smile, its sometimes impossible to make them feel better through smiling. Yet, I hope to see them happy. A smile could be a disguise for everything. However, I would say that, even if many of my friends show a smile to cover their emotions, all I could say that my smile is geniune. I mean no harm... I come in peace... : >

Summary for today:

I had a meeting at 10am, and had my meal at 1 plus. After that, head back to Canberra to do some stuff and head back home. I reached home at 6 plus and started to sleep. At around 9pm, I woke up and went to had my shower. Typing this post at 10pm after watching Naruto, I think I gonna sleep soon. Dont ask me why but I'm really sleepy. Dont call me a Pig since its the year of the Pig right now. Haix... Probably the shortest post for the week or year. Time to sleep now... ZZzz...

Thoughts for the day:

- Hatred... An emotion that would not allow someone to give another chance to the person who's at fault. How to stop this hatred?? Figure it out...

- Emptiness... An emotion felt by the heart that it seems that no one could make the person feel better. Is it a case of sensitivity or is it the fact? It takes time to know the truth I guess...

- Tired... Reasons for this feeling to occur is probably due to lack of sleep, stress out or suffering from sleepless nights. Yet I do not have the problems of the above mentioned. I sleep for the sake of sleeping?? I think that's a better answer...

Yesterday's soccer match between NYP and NUS was a great showdown. NYP was able to continue its path towards the Finals, probably againsting either ITE or SP. An interesting match with Juraimie, who returned back to the team after a car accident. The newspapers of 'Football Weekly' wrote that he's the one who creates counter attacks for the team, which is essential for the team's success. Anyway, the first goal was a short range shot and the second goal was a terrific goal. The striker whacked the ball and the ball curled, over the goalie and into the net. The goalie was helpless after all as he tried to jump to punch it away but fail to do so. The thired came from Zulfadli, as he ran to the flank and whacked it, putting the ball into the net. The final score was 3-0, which I would say, NYP students would be watching the Finals no matter what. Hahaha...

Back to today's activities, I was late for Band and I end up rushing to Henderson Secondary by train and bus. I was more puzzled when I saw some Canberrians taking the train towards Jurong. I mean... the school should be in Sembawang and not Jurong, are they sure where they are going? I didnt bother to ask them but just do my own stuff during the journey. Well, I reached Henderson Secondary around 8.35am. I asked the security guard, 'Excuse me, do you know where's Canberra Secondary School Band??' All the guard did was pointing his fingers into the school and said 'Oh!!! Band Band!!' Diao... I feel like banging my head instead of going to Band first.

I reached to the right classroom and soon, the whole lot went to the air conditioned hall to play our set pieces. Canberra's Band was pronouced as "Can-Bea-Ra" instead of "Can-Ber-Re" Something wrong with their tongues?? Hmm... The school band was quite alright with their play but once Henderson played their 'Flight of Valour', my heart sank. A big difference in our style of play compared to them. Haix... We went back to school and packed our stuff while in my mind, I was still having the after effects of the Band Exchange. I was tired but keep thinking what the Band members are thinking.

Before they left, I told them my comments about the exchange like this:

"Band, before you go, I would like to tell you guys about how I feel about the exchange and our play. If you think we played well, then it will be well. If you think we are not playing that good, then we are not good. If you think you can put in extra effort on the piece, you can choose to stay back afterwards to practise. If you think you have done your best, then you can choose to go back home and rest. Compared to the rest of the Bands today, you should know where are we."

Alright, that wasnt sound like a comment. It was considered as 'no comment'. Haha... Once everyone left, Fikri started to talk to his section. His voice was loud, which I asked him to control, and he started to throw the music stand on the floor, which I told him I could do better than him with that two actions and asked him to control himself. Ending up Nizam was shouting at Fikri and Fikri shouting at his members. I decided to do the talking to the clarinet players and ask Nizam to 'Shut the hell up', since he's creating a scene. Anyway, things are solved now and seems like people are hating the way I treated things. Maybe they think I was siding Fikri after all. Yeah... I'm... but I would still side those who I think they should be protected.

Its not that I disrespect my juniors. If I do, then the clarinet players wont be going back home by now. They should be playing their instrument till 4.30pm. I'm not demanding much but just a better quality of display and music. If this 2 objectives failed, what's the point of participating SYF??!! If you have any unhappiness against me, tell me in my face. I dont mind at all since humans mend to make mistakes. If leaders of the Band thinks that I was too much, well, think again. If you guys are able to control your mates to be more discipline, things wont be like this and I wont need to interfere. You can complain to Ms Pan if you want to, I dont mind.

Haha... Everytime when you blame someone, think if you did something that is right or wrong that lead to the person's actions. I'm not the one who should be hurt but I promised to help the Band no matter what, to make sure that they do get something for SYF. The Band shouldnt be despise by others, that's why, I would be the 'law and order' judge if leaders cant do their jobs properly. With that, I'm back to take my nap...

Amazingly, I'm still able to type this post at this hour. I just had my shower after coming back from Jia Long's house and seriously, I'm dying to get some sleep. I need to wake up at 11am later to pass my things to my swimming coach for mt registration for the part-time Lifeguard job.

I woke up at 9 plus and was late for Band, since I did want to check things out at there. I told myself, today would be a new day but the problem is, there's no new me. I wanted to be rebellious but cant make it. Diao... What the... Anyway, once I'm in school, I just did my normal work, such as typing out the information of the 'Charity Soccer Tournament' and send it to the gang, who are supposed to be in charged in this event too. After that, it was lunch and then I went for Band. Now, here comes the part that I feel uncomfortable with the scene. There was a small conflict within the Clarinet section and all we (Mr Lee and I) were doing was to stare at the conflict while doing our own stuff. We didnt bother much at all and it was up to them to decide, who's gonna play the 3rd Clarinet. Such a simple task and everyone is pushing the responsibility. Haix... Nothing to say about it, since SYF is just like a month or so??!! I hope everything is solved later...

After Band, I was talking to Fikri about the issues of Band and his views. Soon, he left and V.J., Vincent, Jeremy and I went for dinner at the coffeeshop. Tired and exhausted for the day, I wanted to go back home to take a short nap but Jeremy insisted me to join them for a pool session. We went to Safra and played till 10 plus. My Mum was nagging at me all the while, asking me to get back home immediately. I reached home at 11 plus and went to JiaLong's house to watch the Manchester United Friendly Match. However, before I could head there, Jeremy placed his things that he needed to use it for later's teaching so I need to travel to his house and pass it to him.

After that, I head to Charissa's house to have a chat with her, since she was feeling bored. I did told her that I would chat with her so I just went there and we went to the nearby drain, behind to the school and chat for 3 hours??? I dont know but I realised that it was 3.30am when she took her handphone and checked the time. OMG!! That was very late. I went back to Jia Long's house and watched the match, which was a score of 4-3, Man Utd winning the match. After that, I head back home and blog this post before I rest.... ZZzzz.... Now my eyes are very small and I could only see part of the words in this post. Most of the time would me typing with my eyes closed.

Before I end here... Charissa, thanks for the chat. It seems that it is a good thing that you share your story with me and I understand why I have a hard time to change. What's worst is that the reason you told me about my behaviour and the things that are happening in my surroundings do means something special, which I still could not figure it out at all. This is yet getting strange but I think, I would still say thanks for the advice. OMG... Something is just gone wrong with me these days... Hope I have a weak heart and get some prescription from the doctor to make sure that nothing funny occurs... Lastly, anyone kind enough to wake me up at 11am???

If there's no one, then forget it... Who would read my post in the morning at 7AM??? NUTS!!

Everything seems to just turn out to be sudden. Few days ago, it should be a miscommunication with someone, today?!! There's another miscommunication!! I dont expect that to happen and I hope he would be alright. Most of all, for today's incident, I'm very sorry. I'm so sorry about it, Zhi Wei. I think its partly my fault for coming today and without Derik and you knowing about my attendance, which caused both of you to cancel something that is important. I understand you came because you guys thought that Benjamin would be the only Tenor while I'm missing. Hence, for once, I really feel so sorry for turning up.

I didnt expect you to be so mad since from the start till the end of the session. Anyway, I think this wont happen again and I wont let it happen. All I could say that its my irresponsibility that caused such problems. Ben shouldnt be in the wrong since its his first time doing his duty in the committee. Whereas for me, I'm felt that I have not started my task at all. Positions and resposibilities... What are they?? I had a nice talk with Derik during the break and I was feeling hurt, till now. However, I gonna let it all out today and BOOM!! That's it! Everything would be history and I'm gonna be ruling my life the way I always should be.

Anyway, first thing first, I realised that Diana's incident was totally my fault. I should classified that as I was the pest that pesters her everyday, sort of conducting spot checks on her. I'm sorry about it Diana but I'm not sure you would read this post or not. All I could say that blogs are mend to be read by the owner and seldom friends would read it unless its an insulting post. Back to the issue, after reading your blog a few minutes ago, I realised that I could not understand your feelings. Sometimes its hard for me to understand people's feelings and my 'concern' is a nagging after all. I wanted to talk to you but it seems hard. I have no comments or things to ask... to start a simple conversation like in the past we do have. Yeah... You're right, people do change and I think I would look at that prospective of having a new life instead.

Moreoever, I think if you cant communicate with someone, then you would go find someone which could understand you, which is a wise decision. I wont be having the courage to talk to you now and I would try not to nag about from now on. I'm just a bug that creates nags into your world. Not saying this indirectly or sarcastically but I'm really sorry about the questions I asked for the past few days... for the past few months and years?? Well, hope you will enjoy what you do. Haha...

Now back to the main issue, as usual, Zhi Wei, I'm sorry too for the problems that I gave to you. I do hate myself for not doing the right things. By the Derik, thanks for consoling and help me to think the correct path when I was totally lost in my world. Thanks for leading me back and make me realised that sometimes, things arent gonna be ruled in your way. Also, thanks to V.J. for treating me to watch the movie '300' at Vivo City. This is my first time going to Vivo and I enjoy it. Thanks...

Now, I promised Cindy that tomorrow would be a new day for me. Haha... I dont know would it be able to work or not but I'm sure I would try to change... I'll try... Even if it takes to be a bad person. You see, I'm tired of nagging around and I think, I should leave things on its own. Once someone is tired, no point continuing his or her task right??!! Well, I wont give up on Music, my resposibilities and my studies... However, if it is to make sure that I could work things out, its either I win it, or I destroy it. Yeah!! Destroy!! That's a nicer word then kill right??!! Haha... No more smiles for me now. Its time to get serious.. Well, its my decision.. Haha... It takes time to change but too bad, it starts from now...

I did survive a painful swimming lesson after all. Luckily I only had 10 rounds of freestyle, 1 butterfly and backstroke. The rest of the lesson was just play acting as a victim. Haha... Being a victim actually means to be rescued by others but I end up doing the job of rescuing the rescuer. It started like this... The rescuer was supposed to be saving me from drowning. However, this rescuer, a friend of mine, was not wearing his goggles properly and end up when he tried to shout 'Dont worry, I'm coming to save you!', he shouted, 'Wait!!! I cant find my goggles...' My coach and I was like showing him this --> -.-" I end up helping him to find his goggles and went back to my position and continue to shout 'Help!!' Its really a comical scene to me. No one expects the rescuer to be the person to help the lifeguard to find goggles in the water... LOL!! That's a screw up job for the lifeguard, I guess... Haha..

Anyway, back to my crap for today, right now, I'm having tight muscles under my thighs and whenever I tried to stretch or do something else, like for instance, walking, I feel like being sucked into the ground. My legs are getting heavy and I really need to rest, which is right now, sitting down and not moving at all, unless its necessary. I was considering of going to gym tomorrow but I think I should put that aside first. I need more rest these days after too much stressing on aggressive sports. Haha... Now I understand why Raymond and Zul feel that soccer is a pain to them at times even though its a pleasure to play for clubs in the S-League. Haha... Rest??!!! How to get it if you're attending school... Hehe...

Anyway, Cindy told me to look at her blog since she was not feeling that good today. I realised what was happening to her after reading her situation, probably known as her story. I have no comments about her situation but one thing reminds me of something. As a friend, we would always think that whatever we give to others, we would want them to repay us. However, in reality, its very rare these days when people are so kind-hearted. Its not saying that the whole world has turn into a bad place but I'm just trying to say that, as a friend, we can give people alot of things that they need but we should try not to ask them to repay us. If you want them to repay you, then that's not call friends, thats call friendship. A friend is one who you put your trust onto, the one who you will sacrifice but wont ask for anything return. A friendship is just a simple relationship that requires two hearts to be one to create something. There might be an idea of repaying back to the other but in terms of understanding each other, a friendship is not as strong as friends.

Alright, to be simpler with my crap, friends means you know the person inside out. Friendship is just knowing what the person needs and feels but doesnt establish a close connection with each other. For instance, Eugene and I are friends. We have a good friendship but why are we friends? That's because we have create better bonds with each other, and as well as understanding with each other's feelings. Most of all, we wont think of repaying or something that is bad to the other. That's why, even if he keeps quiet, I could guess and figure out how he feels... Now that's what I call a friend, not friendship. Friendship takes a minute to be created while a friend takes years or a lifetime. We grow... we learn... we mature... Friends... friends.... :)

I finally have the time to blog for today's events that has taken place. I was reading 'Naruto' Manga, which is currently at Episode 345 and it only shows the part that Sasuke killed Orochimaru but the problem was that, the ritual for the tranferring of bodies is over. Alright, I'm too engross with the whole anruto story plot that I would need to wait till next saturday before I download the next episode of the Manga. Haix... Is there really a need to do that each week, keeping readers in suspense??!! Possibly no life for the readers but too bad, we still need to wait. The publisher is always the one who controls the story, not us.

Anyway, as usual, I dont know what's the goal tally for today. We just shoot at our opponent's goal continously and I only know that I scored once. That's all. After that, we had a game of our own. In the end, it was our team losing to Chris's team. To be more detailed, it was Chris, Jimmy, Jack, Eugene and Haikal againsting Kian Wee, Nan, Szaywan, Haikal's friend and me. We lost by a score line of 9-8. Although I tried to do things on my own and not cooperating with the rest, I think we could really win the match if some things didnt happened at all. After the match, a disapppointing one indeed, I was feeling tired and angry. Angry because of such things happen in my team and most of all, reflecting about the whole match. I laid on the floor, looking up the clear sky, looking at the stars shining with its never dying strength of light. I keep wondering... Why?? Why it turn out to be like that??

The first thing that come into my mind was the time wastage that our team suffered, or else we still have some attacking opportunity to fight back, probably equalising. However, the linked events occured that really make me go mad. First, we concede a goal and the opponent team were celebrating. I dont mind that but after that, Chris was at the other side, having the ball and was dribbling. Alright, maybe she didnt hear what Eugene had shouted to continue but she's still holding the ball. (Part 1 - Time wastage) Then, Haikal got the ball and whacked it. The ball went to the other side. (Part 2 - Time wastage) I really have nothing to say and I had to run over to get the ball and kick it back. By the time Kian Wee got the ball, lights out, its over. Haix... I was so fed up that I took out my shoes from my feet and throw it on the floor, as well as my socks. That's the only way I could do to release the anger within me.

Soon, Kian Wee came to me and I chatted with him about the match since I was very quiet and was not talking to the rest after the match. The next thing struck my mind was what our team was facing. Kian Wee wasnt feeling like playing all the while and even if Eugene gives a slight tap, Kian Wee doesnt try to stretch his legs to clear the ball. Next, Nan was injuried, suffering from cramps on the legs. Then, my playing was so bad. Eveyone know that I was being as an individual all the way and I was not doing the 'Teamwork' stuff, such as passing and crossing. The most crazy thing that I could imagine is that the team is playing in a light hearted way, since Chris was the goalie for the opponent team and no one is playing at their full potential. I mean, we should not play like that manner, because there's a gal in the other team. You call it 'gentleman', I call it 'weird'. In my opinion, in a game, all opponents are to be treated equal. There's no special treatment for all...

Alright, I might be wrong but we should not give in like that. Anyway, overall, I'm just trying to spill everything that is in my mind now. I'm just saying it out as my opinion and there's no hard feelings in it. When a game is over, its over. There's no point of creating a scene to show your dissatisfaction. I typed this in my blog, to keep it as an event to be remembered, thats all.

However, I think if I could pass the blame, I think I should blame myself. I was playing as an indiviual numerous times and all my shots were wasted. The stupid thing was that I have an injury and I still continued playing. Now, blisters all over my feet and there's a chance of 50% getting cramps for both legs, which I did felt while playing. Probably if I was able to pass the ball or cross it, it could still be a draw or win. As a human being, I think I should not repeat mistakes that have been made but yet end up repeating the whole thing, like a cycle. Too bad, maybe I wasnt thinking at all while playing, I might have the strategy to play but it wont do anything when it comes thinking and playing. Haix... what the... I did promise someone I should not injuried again and stop my injuries and I failed to do so. What a failure am I in keeping promises. No wonder that someone would not listen to me, especially when my words are like a a piece of crap.

End of today's long battle crap. As usual, I might be angry about today's incident but tomorrow would be alright for me. A friend replied me a message, saying that he/she would find a solution to solve all problems he/she faced. I dont know what I should do. I really want to help but for the past few days, probably weeks, I think I was just creating havoc in that person's life. I have no idea what's that person thinking, especially the solutions that he/she would be implementing. If its a negative solution that could bring happiness to that person, I dont think its a wise decision. Yet, I still strongly believe in that person's judgement. That person has the ability to judge things by his/her own and I do hope he/she did the right thing. Maybe he/she is feeling numb now while sleeping, or maybe later once waken up. However, there are possible solutions that are still positive...

As a friend, sometimes I do feel hopeless when helping others to deal with solutions. All friends could do is to show support and concern, as well as giving advices but yet couldnt do anything at all to stop the person's pain. It's hard for me to drown my sorrows but I think... I'm just getting too much, interferring too much with other people's life. A friend??? Haha... I should just laugh myself off. I live on day by day, to see happiness and sadness with my own eyes. The most happy moment that I had for this week is last night, singing songs for my God-Sis over the phone to make her feel better since she had problems with her life. A moment of happiness is truly hard to get. What am I??? I'm not god. I'm not Cristiano Ronaldo. I'm nothing actually. My will and determination is just what I'm left with to live on. Probably I'm still alive since I'm here to prove something to this world about me... I dont know... Really dont...

Like what Jasmine had told me in her message, 'Dont give up... Never say die...' I'm always the one who never gives up and never say die but yet, things just happened to be not going my way. I will still try my best but still, its very hard for me to do it since I'm just saying it. Now, even th person who I wish to be with just treat me as her brother and all I could do is keep quiet... act blur at all times... and keep it as a painful thought... a dark secret... I dont mind but sometimes, I must admit this, the truth hurts...

Alright, stopping my crapping here then. Life... a valuable heartbeat that allows one to live on for his or her existence for a purpose. My life, my rules... maybe not... probably everything has been arranged to be taken place. Everything has been set to be done by the 'Book of Life'... Everything, even my actions now, are the arrangements of Fate and Destiny... Destiny... Could I control it, or its already controlling me, maybe still young till now, even right now...

Rushing to Yishun Sports Hall to watch the Netball match between Ang Mo Kio Secondary against the Singapore Sports School... It was a good match between the 2 schools, especially when they are competing for the 1st placing in the 'C' Division. Anyway, before heading to the Sports Hall, I was at Ang Mo Kio Central, with my V.E. friends, going to K Box to enjoy ourselves. I was really tired this morning as Christine messaged me in the morning at 7 plus. Alright, I couldnt sleep at all after that and so I went to use the computer.

As the clock strikes 10.10am, I went to change my attire, start afresh and head to Ang Mo Kio to meet the rest. I was late about 3 minutes, I think so... Anyway, we head to the new K Box and one incident really made me feel like laughing. The new K Box is at the 2nd storey and we climbed up the stairs. When the person saw us straight after we reached the 2nd storey, she greeted us politely, "Hi! Welcome!!" Alright, I told Kah Hong that we were heading to the 3rd storey instead of the 2nd. What if I really told that lady about this? Gosh, I think her face would turn red hot and the next thing could be shoes flying into us. Haha...

We entered the K Box and started singing. Although I'm not good at judging at people singing, I can say that everyone in the V.E. Committee actually could see very well. I may not be a good music judge like Derik but I'm sure, as a spectator, I want to hear nice voices out from the songs. As usual, I was singing JJ's songs. Haha, a typical JJ fan is always like that. No matter what you do, you will still sing that particular song to get high.

I left at 2pm and rush to take the bus to Yishun Sports Hall. Once I alighted from the bus, the worst thing happened that really ruined my day. My kneecap!! There's a sound produced, like 'THUD!' and I could not walk after that. Haix... No choice but to walk slowly to the Sports Hall. When I entered the hall, the scoreboard was 12-0; SSS -> 12 and AMKS -> 0. Alright, that was not a good sign. I just watched on and the final score was 23 - 3, which obviously you would know who's leading. However, I feel the passion of the game by AMKS netballers. Once the first ball entered the net and they got their 1st point, the whole hall was filled with screams. The cheerleaders were going crazy as they started to cheer for their school. Although there is no need for stunts to be done, I think it was alright with thier screams. You understand, gals... especially when they scream, could result in deaf. Haha...

Anyway, I spotted Christine and Violent, both in their respective clothings during the match. It was a good match, I should say. I may not know what are the rules of the game but I could see that SSS netballers have better relaxes and speed than AMKS netballers. Most of all, because of their continuous training in their school for each week without fail, there were able to interpret how the game should be played, which was a thing that AMKS was lacking. I dont say that its because the SSS team was stronger but a weak team could defeat SSS if the strategy is right and they could find the weak points of the team. With the lack of pace and reflexes, AMKS team could not get to man mark each player of their own, thus causing the whole defence to be broken.

Anyway, the match is over and Christine felt that the umpire was quite biase when making their decisions. Well, this one I dont know about it but I'm sure that they might not be able to spot it as people are blocking their view?? I dont know. I know that it seems like some fouls have been committed but was not spotted. All I could say is that like soccer, referees and umpires do make mistakes. It could be a foul to us but to them, it might not. Only video replays could tell us if the referee is making a right decision or not. However, bothe referees and umpires are still humans. Humans do make mistakes. Hence, maybe that's part of the game.

After the match, I went straight to Canberra Secondary and typed this post. I didnt went to find Violent and Christine as I dont feel like talking. Its not because of the lost but its because, I dont feel like talking. What's worst, if the rest of their 'Gals' Clan is there, I would be dead meat then. They would start to call me funny names which caused my hair to stand. Haha... Most of all, I would need to walk slowly back to the MRT Station to take a train. Yet, I'm still trying to change to be the person that I'm trying to be. Its hard but if I'm trying it, it should work. At least, a week... A week of blockage between the outside world and my world alone. Haha... Gonna see about it then... Haha...

I'm feeling very tired now and I'm thinking of going back home and rest. With the conditions of my kneecap, I think I need more rest instead of continuing walking. I hate this kind of things happening in me. Tomorrow there's soccer and yet I injuried myself. I wanted to train but now, it takes a few days to recover. Let's hope that tomorrow could be alright.

As I always tell myself, even if it cost both my legs to be gone, I would still go on and play the game. I'm not a quitter but a person who is getting stronger...

There's a lot of meetings to attend. Well, I should make it much specific, there are quite a number of meeting places to go to meet other people. That's sounds much better. First was the new V.E. Committee meeting, which was 9.45am. I was really tired since I didnt sleep quite well. I woke up at 4 to wake Diana up but end up taking nearly 1/2 hour to make sure she's awake. After that, I woke up again at 8 plus, this time, I was late to meet Kah Hong, since my Mum wants me to help her find her band book. It's always like that... Haix... I dont know why my Mum's timing is so good that when I have something on, there's definitely problems from her.

Anyway, during the V.E. meeting, I realised that there's quite a number of papers I need to fill in. There's one paper for 'Cash Advancement'. Another for this and that. I think I need some time to get use to it. Wow!! I didnt know that our camps for last year cost that much!! Haha... I think this year the committee would need to deal with money problems?? I was unable to attend the complete meeting as I had promised Ms Lee last week that I would be going to her school to have a talk with her class. I was not ready for the talk as I feel so isolated this Semester. I dont know... I realised that during this Semester, I was just by myself and during presentations, I wasnt putting my best performance in it. I was actually reading the script instead of telling the class.

I was late for the 2nd meeting, which was Teck whye Secondary School, to help Ms Lee with the talk. I alighted at the wrong bus stop and end up running to the school. Nice try, its been a long time since I run to school due to late for lessons. The last time was still during my Polytechnic days but commonly, its during my Secondary school life. My bad!! Back to the talk, I was just telling the class about what's Polytechnic life and what they do. However, I was very sure that I didnt keep up the expectations of what Ms Lee wants me to do. In Canberra Secondary, I was able to give a good talk but in Teck Whye, it seems to be different. After the talk, I had my pizza which Ms Lee had ordered and I had a mini chat before I went home to have a bath, before heading to Chris house to celebrate her birthday.

Again, I was late for her party, since I had to meet V.J. as we head towards her place together. I was enjoying myself but the day was too much for me and I was feeling very tired, like what I'm feeling now. After my meal, I went to use the laptop and soon, fell asleep. I was exhausted and my eyes were getting smaller. I woke up around 10 and I prepared to go back home with the gang. We walked from Yishun (Chris Place) to Sembawang, before I took the bus back home. On the way to the bus stop, I saw Diana's brother and mother. I did signal to him with a 'Hi' and he signalled back. Okay!! Haha... Sounds weird. Hehe... I reached home at 11 and I went down stairs to buy my dinner as I was dying for something to fill in my stomach.

As usual, after eating my meal, I was tired and keep looking at the various blogs in the Internet. I saw Diana's post... I asked her a few questions and I have a bad feeling about it. I just feel like I have said the wrong thing, again and again. I dont know what to do, except than apologising. Just like what I told Yi Tian today, again and again... I was so sorry for not able to attend the whole meeting and I was feeling very bad for cutting her conversation online. I really feel that I owe alot of people things. Its just that, it seems I could not repay them and yet they would still say 'Its alright...' Was I too sensitive with Diana's words or am I just too tired?? I dont know. I just hope that everyone would smile...

Its hard to get people to smile, especially when I feel nothing at all compared to what others had felt. I could be the only one who feels the joy but the rest... they might not feel it at all. All this while, they might be feeling the pain and torture they had to faced. Like me, I look upon things in a different way. I could be nice but my words could be hurting. I guess I didnt use my brain properly before I say things out??!! Like my past tutor told me when I was young. "Use your numb skull to think..." I think I really need to do this all the time since my brain is mulfunctioning all this while.

Like Diana mentioned in her blog 'People do change.' Maybe I should stop thinking about being myself and think of being in people's shoes instead. Well, its time for me to change I guess... Maybe a person without thoughts, feelings and emotions. I just wish that I could be feeling nothing all the time. Is it necessary that all humans must have emotions towards everything? I dont know... if there is a chance to change my character, my life, my dreams, my aims, my goals, my surroundings, my world... why wont I give it a try... I might be sensitive here but seriously, I sometimes had enough with myself for being a retard who would smile all the while... Making people happy could be a good thing. Making myself sad and allow others happy could be alright for me too. However, making others to feel sad even if I tried to make them happy?? I think I should be classified as a 'Nobody' then... Again, am I thinking too much or I'm just tired? I really dont know...

Tomorrow there's K Box with the V.E. Committee and I have decided to go, since its been a long time I went to K Box. Haha... I have not touch the microphone for a long time. Anyway, AMKS vs SSS Netball finals for C Division is tomorrow... Good luck to AMK Secondary then... Hehe... That's for today then....

Barcelona lost the match against Liverpool. I dont want to comment about Barcelona's performance but I could only say that the 1st half was an entertaining match. Especially Liverpool, who was trying to attack to increase its goals in the game. However, Barcelona stole the show by scoring the goal but end up Liverpool winning the game through away goals. Haha... It was indeed the 1st half that I wanted to watch, 2005 Champions vs 2006 Champions, now that's I called Pure Entertainment. Anyway, talking so much about the 1st half, how about the 2nd half?? Well, I was K.O. during the 2nd half as I was too tired to carry on. Too bad. Haha...

When I woke up, everyone was gone and I left Jia Long's house, after I went to the room and saw him sleeping. The rest had went back home. I dont know if they left me there because I'm sleeping or is it because they tried to wake me up but too bad, I dont seem to listen to them and off back to sleep. Haha... Well, I reached home around 9 plus and slept at 9.30am. Tired... Restless... Dying for extra extra sleep, which I didnt have it for the past few days. Just like V.J., who was having difficulties sleeping, I think both of us could go and see a doctor soon.

Anyway, I woke up around 2 plus and after using the computer (with poor graphics as my graphics card go haywire), I went to meet V.J. in school. Alright, I just do my normal stuff and we went to Little India to have our dinner with Reeza. A wonderful dinner at the restaurant as we had a thosai, which is 3 plates long. Believe it or not, it was really long and yet, tasty. Haha... After the meal, I went back home alone as I need to have some rest for tomorrow's activities, which is abit too much for me I think.

First, 9 plus, there would be V.E. meeting for the Commitee till 2pm However, I'm able to make it at 12 plus as I need to be in Teck Whye Secondary by 1.30pm, to help Ms Lee for the talk to her class. After that, there is still a party to go for Christina's birthday, probably at Chris's house??!! I dont know. I need to check with the gang about it but all I know is that they had planned it at 1pm. What the??!! Everything started at 1 plus for me tomorrow, which is what I mean by the word 'troublesome'. Haha... However, I need to wake Diana up at 4am later to get her start her revision for her tests. Haix... That gal, always not eating her meals... The population of Pandas are decreasing and why is it so?? Maybe Pandas dont listen to what other say, that is why, with bad nutrition, they extinct?? I think so... Haha... Kidding la, Diana... Dont take it to heart. I just want you to have proper meals that's all, isnt that too demanding right??!!

Alright, off for bed now... Tired....

I wanted to take a nap, especially when I'm going to Jia Long's house to watch the soccer match between Liverpool and Barcelona but still I couldnt sleep at all. Maybe my timer for a good sleep has been tuned to 3am in the morning from now on. Since the day when I have my holidays during Christmas last year, and till the days when I'm having my examination for my Semester, I was sleeping very late at night, around 3am at all times. Haix... I must start to sleep at 11 plus so that I could have enough sleep.

Anyway, I woke up this morning and used the computer. Guess what... Earthquake has rocked Singapore!! I dont know what happened but I assumed this incident as part of an earthquake. I was sitting down, using the computer peacefully when I felt that the chair is shaking. I was feeling a bit dizzy but thinking that it should be my eyes playing tricks on me. Then, I saw the monitor in front of me shaking. Alright... I just stunned at there, not moving at all but jumped up! Earthquake, I assumed and I opened the window to check out the surroundings. Er... Alright, nothing happened at all. Thinking that I was just feeling not well, since I'm not feeling unwell all the time due to sickness... Haha... I just went back and do my things.

I went to school and checked out with some friends and what I had experienced was true. Haha... I never expected that to happen. Heard from Chris that the whole Canberra Secondary was shaking... Haha... While for me, I started to believe that what I had experienced was real earthquake and I didnt managed to shake the table all by myself to move the monitor. Haha... Yeah!! How am I suppose to shake a table that is heavier than me??!!

Anyway, V.J., Yao Xing, Jeremy, Chris and I went to Causeway Point to have our meal at Pastamania. Nice meal!!! Its my first time trying to eat baked rice and I'm really curious about its process of baking the food. As a ex-Food Nutritionist, and a guy who wants to learn how to cook delicious food, which I didnt manage to try that for 2 years or so already, I think I would try to find books from the library and try it at home, making my Mum and Sister to be guniea pigs!!! Haha... Its been a long time since I did that. I do admit that my cooking is better than my sister but I think I need to get warm up first before I could declare that. With past 2 years of F & N knowledge, I think I could win my Sister in cooking, instead of studies. Haha...

V.J. came to my house and killed the time bomb. Thanks alot V.J.. Without you, I think my computer would still be an active time bomb like just now, when I showed you what had happened. LOL!!! Anyway, thanks... Always feel like owing you something. Talk about owing, I think I owe my Dad quite alot. Last night, he placed some money on my table and left the room without a single word. This should be the household money for this month but it was quite alot. Thinking about that, I do feel bad that I got too much from him. Actually, I didnt want it but it was my Mum's idea to collect the money from him. Haix... However, its better than nothing, since he didnt help Mum to do housework. Probably that's the fees of having a clean house?? A good environment for every day??!!! Haha... Anyway, thanks Dad... as well as Mum...

Time to prepare to go Jia Long's house. I cant wait for Thursday. I gonna visit Ms Lee to help her in giving a talk to her class, as well as being one of the guest for their class PIZZA PARTY!!! YAHOO!!! That's what I call 'Entertainment'!!! Bring it on!!

Last night, I didnt sleep that well, or probably I didnt sleep at all. I was tossing here and there but couldnt get the right position to sleep. Anyway, I woke up at 5 plus and get ready to meet V.J., Valerie and Reeza. Stupid Jeremy was not joining us as he's having an interview with the school stuff to get his application as a relief teacher for Canberra and yet, he didnt turn up at all for the whole event in Republic Polytechnic (R.P.), screw you Dude!!! Well, the gang was late to meet me and V.J. called me when he was just one bus stop away from my house. Yikes!!! I ned to rush down from my house and run to the bus-stop, just in time to catch the bus. I supposed he called me when he reaches the a few stops away from my house... Haix... What a busy day i had.

Reached R.P. at around 8.30am and we started to seperate our tasks. V.J., Valerie and Reeza in-charged of phototaking while I took charge of the video. It was fun to see the Vice Principals doing their stuff, especially when they were doing a rift as a team. Alright, snap a few clips here and there, run about to see what I have missed out snapping and then, I went to the pool to see the results of their creation. Some turn out to be good while some cant make it. However, overall everyone did do their job to swim across the pool successfully. This let me see the teamwork in the Vice Principals of various schools joining together. Amazing..

After taking all the shots, everyone proceed back to the Sports Hall for their briefing while V.J., Valerie and I went to Causeway Point to develop the photos as soon as possible. After getting the photos, which was done within 20 minutes with 150 shots developed, we took a cab back to R.P. and went to help out in pasting the pictures into the certificates for the Vice Principals to take it back home as a memorial. After completing the task, I was quite sleepy and I went out to had my lunch, which I didnt take at all. Having 2 servings at one time, I now realised that I was still feeling full to have any food. Haha...

While the rest having their break, I was dozing off, in front of my ex-school Principal. Alright, I was tired and I was quite busy in the morning already. That rabbit didnt do anything so he doesnt have the right to lecture me. Luckily, he didnt or else... Anyway, the talk was quite boring and I was just trying to do certain things to kill my time. That room that we were in was really 'High-Tech'!!! No reception... No internet connection... No games... No entertainment... All it has is talking and talking and talking... Bored, killing me softly with their words. Once the event was over, I went back home. Tired and dying to catch some sleep but I do not know what time V.J. would be coming to my house. Haha... We had sleepless night yesterday.

Well, I just gave a call to a person who my coach knows and I would be having an interview within the next 2 weeks. If I got the approval for the job, I think I could work in the swimming pool as temporary lifeguard. Now its time to earn some money, to get enough money to buy a new NOTEBOOK!! I'm dying to have one since my computer is screwing me upside down right now. Haha... Anyway, I gonna take my nap now, probably waking up tomorrow at 9 plus. Super tired... Zzzz...

Boring Saturday!!! No soccer to play and my computer just went bonkers straight away. Let's start with the computer issue first. I was playing Winning Eleven 9 and the next thing occured was a pause in my game. Thinking that it was just a hang or jam in the computer system, I restarted the computer. Next up, the whole computer could not load and the CPU produced the song of a siren. Diao... What the... I was playing a match for Brazil Finals for the American Cup and that's it! It hang??!! OMG!! Hiax... First its the sound card problem, now its the system problem. I really need your help now, V.J.. Probably I'll be thinking of getting a notebook soon. Haix.. No more Dreamweaver to play with, no more Photoshop CS to try on. Life without a computer is quite terrible at times...

Anyway, we actually should have soccer yesterday but it was cancelled, thanks to the pathetic weather in Singapore. Although its controlled by Nature, I dont think wht Nature wants to fool us, Humans, whenever we wanted to do something. Alright, maybe I was wrong to put all the blame on Nature as its within our control. However, I think Nature should create rain at certain days, except on Saturday evenings. It would just spoil our day of playing soccer if it rains. What matters most now is to train harder and work hard for the Charity Soccer Tournament for this year, which there is still doubts whether it would be organised or not.

Mr Siva had not come out with any new information for us, as the Alumni who are in-charge of these activities. Haix... Poor Siva, he just keep on owing us a lot of stuff. Testimonials for the Alumnis on last year's activity.... With just the testimonial, he had owe about 10 of us?? Should be like that... Haha...

Anyway, I need to help V.J. tomorrow at R.P. to do photography and video on all the Principals and Vice Principals of Singapore. They are planning to make a rift out of bottles and they would need to test it on the Swimming Pool of R.P.. I would be having much fun at there, I think so, but all I could say that the person who created the certificates names is an idiot. I dont know who but the words are quite sarcastic. For instance, 'The Holely Rift"??? Gosh!! That person would be shoot down straight away if any Principal or Vice Principal who had that award has a gun in his or her hand. Haha...

Then, Wednesday I need to help Ms Lee to do some crapping about how students would need to manage their time to ensure that they could achieve their goals. It seems that I have lost my communication skills basic and I need to train them up. Most of all, getting motivated to have an entertaining speech rather than a boring one. Haha... Alright, stopping now, I gonna meet Diana at the station and I'm late, AGAIN??!!! Haix... My bad...

Examination period is over and I'm ready for the coming holidays. I hope that I could work as a part-time lifeguard but still, my coach has not inform me about the vacancy of the job. Anyway, I would start my work, hopefully after the March holidays, as I have a lot of stuff to do and complete. Firstly, to start my training again. After a month of studying and not playing any games, I finally started juggling a Size 5' ball. Alright, it sounds weird here but I'm juggling a mini soccer ball every day at home. Haha...

Anyway, just a brief summary about the past few days... A.F.A. was indeed a screw up and I mean it. After the paper, I was like a mad man, throwing things, buying more drinks, punching walls, running about like a dog, etc. All the stupid things just come into my mind and it seems nothing could stop my anger. I reached Canberra Secondary around 4 plus that day and no one seems to dare and try me. I throw my bag at the chair, yell for a moment and walked out of the Computer Lab to buy drinks. I wanted to buy Green Tea to cool myself down but end up buying 4 packets. Alright... One for Valerie, Diana, Jeremy and me. I know Diana would not eat anything once she reached home so I gave her the packet but she refuse to accept it. Haix... I shouted at her in the end and get her to hold the packet drink before I walked back to the lab. Gosh!! Sorry Diana, just that you have not seen the other side of me. I was able to stay calm when you see me in that state... hehe...

Well, still cant figure out the way to ease the heat, I went out of school and ran around the neighbourhood. Running and yellling... However, once I'm back to Canberra, I feel much better then. I started to do the normal stuff and helped Jeremy to come out with various games for his camp. I went back home around 9 and was feeling a bit sad but still alright, since I need to study for Microeconomics.

The next day, it was Cindy's birthday. Seriously, I didnt know that the movie idea was from Alvin, Cindy's brother. I thought it was his Sister who wants to watch a movie. -.-" what the... Anyway, I treated Diana (Moody gal for the past week), Cindy (Birthday gal) and Alvin (Birthday's gal brother - Mr GAY!!) for the movie. Cynthia was there too, as she accompany Cindy. Haha... Not bad, my 'brother' is watching movie with me, right Cynthia?? LOL!! Anyway, we watched the show 'Follow the Law' and it was a nice movie. Inside the cinema, there were less than 10 people watching. Alright, peace and quiet but yet noisy. Alvin was doing funny yet stupid stuff, and I was giving the [-.-"] look though it was pitch dark. After the movie, I went to Kenneth's house to teach him Microeconomics. By then, I was feeling groggy, probably too tired or something. Anyway, I slept at 4 that morning and woke up at 9 plus.

With a good breakfast, thanks to Kenneth's Mum, we went back to study but end up slacking. Then, Kenneth's friend sent us a link about the MRT suscide video. Alright... It was a good thing we had breakfast first before watching the clip, which make both of us sick!! Before going to school, I went to take a shower at his house, which was when something bad happened.

I only saw shampoo but couldnt figure out which is the body foam. Never mind, I thought and I saw a small bottle, which looks similar like the bottle that I had whenever I bring for shower after my swimming lessons. Assuming that's the body foam, I used it. 2 things occured, which was unpleasant. First, the smell of the foam was like peppermint. I applied on my chest and it was like, cooling... Alright, maybe its a peppermint flavour??? I dont know... Then, the second thing happened. My foam that I applied make my skin feel like burning, like acid or something. I turn on the tap and wash my body. YIKES!!! Thanks for the 'Assumption game' that I had which caused me to a wonderful bath that 'spice' up my day, I asked Kenneth whats that. He told me he doesnt know what's that... OMG!!! Hope its not detergent or what... Wait??!!! If its Bleach??!! OMG!! Sian 1/2...

Anyway, once the paper was done, I went back to Canberra and played soccer. Haha... Finally, able to play soccer after facing a torture of 3 weeks not touching a read soccer ball. Playing under the rain and practising, just like a wonderful weather for training. Haha... I went to help V.J. to clean his room after the game and had a meal before I head home. Think about last night's activities till now, I think I have many things to do during the holidays. I realised I have a 1 week chalet, which is seperated into 2 slots. I think that week would be a tiring one. What's more, with a desire to find my job, to support my Band for SYF, to redesign my blog skin and Friendster profile, to help V.J. for school stuff and maybe a massive project to be done with Andy and Kenny about Clean and Green Campaign. So many many things.... Wow... I think this holiday is not a good one but yet a knowledgable and fun-learning holiday. Sharks!! I realised that I have V.E. on Monday... OMG!!!

Haix... I had a chat with Christine last night and I really think my life is quite boring. A boring guy like me cant find a good way to kill boredom, or probably making people's life to feel bored. Haha... Well, Christine, congrats for your team getting into the Finals for the Netball 'C' Division. Hope you gals would win against SSS, try your best!!! Haha... Gosh!! If my life is so aimless, and lifeless, then I think I shall start doing something about it... Haha... New things to try?? I'll see about it then... LOL!!

Its morning 10.30am and I'm still at here, blogging, instead of study my stuff. Yeah... I'm very tired but its alright. Its the last hurdle that I need to go through before I could say 'Say goodbye to exams...' Anyway, I stayed at Kenneth's place for the night, to teach him Microeconomics, as well as studying on my own. Within the 2 days, so many things happen. Movies... Studies... Anyway, will blog more about it later the day... Gonna bath now.. Before I end, for once, AFA sucks, Thank you, end of post!! :)