Time flies and it's the day when I grow by a year. How I wish that time could paused for a moment, let me have a breather before I continue my journey of mankind.

If you ask me, what are the wishes that you have made for your birthday? I would still say, same as usual. Its always about wishing the people around me to stay healthy and happy at all times. 

The truth is, I didn't really make a proper wishing for myself this year. I have find it pointless to do so. No idea for that but throughout the year, its all about heart aches and pain. It's always about work, friends and home that I realized, I'm not doing anything for my own sake.

Wanting to stay fit, I trained hard but end up, a back injury stops me from moving on further. Wanting to love a person and start afresh, I tried to meet new people but do not have the courage and mentality to accept another. Only a phrase describes me:  a piece of shit.

To be honest, I'm happy that many of my friends celebrated my birthday. The diving crew and athletes had sang a birthday song for me. Singthesis fellows had a cake for me. VJ, Jeremy and gang held a steamboat for me. Simin and Jeremy had brought me to the fish spa to relax... Appreciated with thanks.

Yet again, never did I feel comfortable throughout the whole experience as there were a few stupid incidents that took place these days. The renting of car under Jeremy's name, the clinger feeling that I faced in and off the diving event, not forgetting that I had fall sick during the process. Sucks to the core.

I have no idea what lies in the future. I only thing that I know right now is I'm currently fighting on without a purpose. There's no motivation for me to move on in life. The only key to these answers is to find it by myself and only me, who can bring myself to see what lies the future of mine.

I'm just finding everything meaningless for now. Sorry but Nicholas may be smiling but he has no idea why he is doing so, probably to entertain many others, as a tool of anger and sadness for others.

Nicholas, the puppet, has arrived.