I lost the plot for today’s game, losing everything in an instance. Everything was perfectly fine but the problem was, my temper took me to a no man’s land and I was not playing like I’m supposed to be. Maybe I was frustrated but to find the real answer to my anger, I will keep asking myself, “Why?” all the time… What is wrong with me today?

Well, in a game, there is always no right or wrong answer. My own perceptions towards various issues can be different from what others think. Not trying to pin-point or saying names but in my own view, things are changing. Our team is not like the team we are before. As people goes missing and the numbers decreasing, it is impossible to play as a team like before. Soccer is a game of teamwork but if one wants to be the one who gets the credit, being selfish seems to be wrong after all. How many times did you ever think of your teammates while you get the ball? One or two times, with more than 5 shots been made?

By then, I don’t feel like playing at all. If one wants to get the credit, I don’t mind, just go ahead and do it. Adam and Nan were talking to me, asking me what was wrong with me today but I replied nothing. If I voice it out, displeasure will be shown in front of me. So why should I voice out when things are already not working at all??!! I guess everyone in the team, not the guys like Nan, Szaywan or Adam but the rest of us… The gang… There isn’t any communications in the game anymore. If you are thinking I’m wrong, then I have nothing to say. However, use this example, compare the times we played against C.C.C. and the playing we have now, any difference?

Nan was telling me to drop the ‘Goal tally’ crap since its not working at all. I guess everyone wants to score goals; some for their love ones whereas some for the sensational feeling. I don’t have anything to achieve at the moment while scoring but if being the lead of this annual competition of ours makes one happy, just go ahead without me then. I mean, everyone is scoring goals and no one is doing their part as a TEAM, playing will be boring by now. If things wont change, nothing is solved.

All I requested is a bit of teamwork and not having the competition we have internally as a stepping stone for all our individualistic doings. Everyone does mistakes, so does I. Maybe reading this is a piece of crap to you and all my wrongdoings will start bombarding into your mind. Well, I know my mistakes and I have learnt, yet trying to continue this learning each time I play. Jack always shouted “Passing!! Passing!!” I did it finally with more teamwork is done. Though selfish at times and greedily for a winning goal, there is a still some improvements made.

Therefore, ask yourself if you are playing the game as a team, or an individual, not about the passing, not about the scoring but the set-pieces and shooting opportunities you have done for today. Reflect! That’s a simple thing we can do to improve and learn. I’m doing it, so can you.

Well, no biasness for this entry and I’m not shooting on anyone. If you think it’s you, then it is you. If you don’t, then that’s good. In a game, once a match is over, it’s over, no point stressing yourself too much. I did stress too much but after a clear mind, I was wrong. What matters most is I must learn to control my temper the next time I play. Well, it’s all in the mind, isn’t it?