Calculus sucks, yet I’ve decided to stay onto the lesson and continue to study that module since it does not affect my results at all. I was having a slight headache while formulas are being thrown at me, bombarding my mind with all the equations that I have no idea of solving. By the end of the 1st break, I was having low confidence and feel that I should drop the module. I went to Mr. Lionel’s office to have a talk with him about the matter but luckily, he told me that there’s nothing to lose even if I flung the exam. I mean, it isn’t that bad, if I don’t take the exam if I’m not ready and still, it does not affect my results.

Anyway, I really need to thank Eric and Sheryl for their encouraging words. Yeah! Calculus; also known as A Maths to me, is difficult but I should never give up on the module too. Everyone tried and they know that it is hard but they still can do it! Why can’t I? I mean… Even Auntie Emily also past me her notes, hoping it will help, hence I should continue and work hard. Yeah! That builds up the motivation… Hope so…

Well, nothing much today but I’m feeling quite moody now. I don’t understand at all what sometimes a person is thinking in their mind, maybe I don’t understand at all. I just have this weird feeling whenever you tell me “Don’t know” and “Don’t want”, making me feel that I’m being isolated from you. Is it because of any mistakes that I’ve done before or what I had said did hurt you? I’m now the one who is asking questions yet I could not find the answer to your short replies and the fading smile in you.

I just really hope you do know that someone does care about you but I really need you to tell me something about what’s bugging in your heart. I know I’m a stupid fool, a 大笨蛋 at times but at least, tell me something, let me take care of you. You did many things for me yet I could not do anything in return, making me feel so helpless at times. I just wish that I could be the one to be by your side no matter what happens, as well as doing my duties as the guy I should be to you.

I asked whether if I’m very nagging but you said I wasn’t. Now think again, I just can’t get the answer of all the guesses. If you read this post, could you tell me something about what has happened these days? I will still wait for your call, 24 – 7, waiting for your voice out the words from your heart, be the one to stand next to you no matter what and help you as much I could.

That’s all I guess. Time to sleep now… I wish to say “love you” but I guess, before I say that, I guess I should say “I miss you a lot”, while waiting for the time that I could spent with you, even just a simple task such as sending you home… =[