Right now, I'm in the office, having nothing to do at the moment and I'm typing my blog entry. I'm feeling tired, vex and clueless. Probably having a lack of sleep last night, I'm still feeling exhausted.

Within the next 6 hours, or maybe the next 12 hours, I must make up my mind, make a decision that may affect my lifestyle for the next 5 years ahead; to sign on or not. Yes, this is considered to be the most difficult question as I'm not so sure what the hack life is during National Service. I'm unsure of the training procedures, how tough it is and what the hack would I be doing.

Mum kept pestering me to make up my mind but actually, she was just wanting me to sign on and attend University instead. I mean, there's no need to rush but it seemed that she had made up her mind. As a soon-to-be 21 young adult, I have my own decisions to make. However, I do totally agree that I'm indecisive at times, having a hard time to compare what I really want and what I hope to get.

Mum insisted me to sign for SPF (Singapore Police Force). I have no idea is it good or not but one thing is for sure, I do have the passion for it but how long will it last and will my expectations match up with what I will be doing in the future? Since young, at the age of 5, I really wished I could be a police officer. Yet, during my secondary school days, I failed to enter NPCC as my CCA. Sad isnt it?!

Well, here, back to the same story, the same problem. To sign up or not? 5 years... Should I? What are my future goals anyway? I have no idea but knowing that if I am approved by NTU for Sport Science Management or N.I.E., I wont mind. Bond... That is a difficult choice, a difficult option to choose from.

Overall, I'm physically alright, mentally not good, all because of my emotionally unstable conditions. Not feeling depressed or what but I'm feeling moody and seemed that I'm falling sick. Yes, sick... 相思病...

Now I know the reason for what caused the problem, I hope everything can be back normal again. I'm an over-sensitive creature whom is hot tempered and crappy at times. Always thinking alot of things but never think before I say a thing. Yet, I feel that you should stop me instead of letting me to continue the misunderstanding. You always let me think more rather than convince me more.

A month had past... Life is like a routine everyday. Work, work and work. I'm trying to put everything aside via work but it makes me moody whenever I think about her. Sucks isnt it?! I should concentrate on working instead of thinking of people. ZZzzz.... I just missed her... =(