I had my certificates and academic scripts all printed. I need to pack my stuff once I reach home later, all because of the interview that I'm taking tomorrow.

Yes, I decide to join the Singapore Police Force, which was sort of my inspiration to be a police officer since young. Aiming for the goal to be one was a dream come true I guess. However, some asked was it because something that has cause me to make an implusive decision. I really dont know.

All I could say that after I read her blog, as well as accessing some private blog, it seemed that the hatred is still strong. All it takes is one's hate to destroy every single thing, every single memory and every single action that we had previously done before.

I know partly its my fault for the mistakes but nothing can be done to undo the harm. I do know that I have a bad temper but whenever I scold, I would be feeling depress at a later stage. You understand that I have such a bad habit but it does not mean that what I mean was true during my frustrations. I need someone to understand me, someone close to me which I could rely on. Yet, its too late...

I saw the words that you describe your friends. Previously, you called me a 'ben ben'. Now, you called others that. My heart did sank deeply, trying to float up but its a bitter one to swollow. Have you fall for other guys? Have you put everything aside so quickly? I wonder why.

I hope you did have a good attachment place that you are going to work on for the coming months. I hope your BTT will pass this Saturday, and not like me, failed the first attempt. I do feel useless. I feel like giving myself up, in everything, life, work, money, fun... I have no idea what to do. Never would you want to hear from me, talk to me or even compromise with me. Its your bad habit, and yes, this is your bad habit which I always wish to have the change in you but you dont want.

Who's fault for that at the end of the day? Nobody. Its all in the mind whether one wants to change. Even if I tried to change, never would you see through my good points but my bad will be highlighted in your heart all the time. I do get late, I do have bad temper, I do have sensitive mind, I do have irritating mouth that ask multi kinds of questions. However, when I do something that is a change, you never recognise it. I need recognition, which what I do like praising you or something.

Forget it... I should stop thinking about it and continue with life, in an aggressive manner. Let's hope my SPF interview is a success. I'm tired for now...