Dad came home earlier than usual today. The first thing he asked me after he sat on the sofa was "Son, you know what's the occasion yesterday?"

I kept in silence. Even though I know what was the occasion, I just acted as if I knew nothing at all. Soon, he replied it was Fathers Day. I just replied with a "Orh" and that's it.

I knew he felt hurt after hearing my words but probably I do not have the courage to tell him that. I can never tell him, face to face, that how much I care. Why? That's simply because, I dont know what is the true meaning of fatherly love.

I dont recieve the love and care of what other Dads would do to their child. I dont see the understanding he gave compared to other Dads whom did. I only have a Dad, which I was born to call him "Dad" and what he does contribute to the family is.... nothing. I cant think of anything at the moment that could describe his role in the family. Yeah, probably the previous debts he had made the family fall upon to and his relectuant attitude to solve the problem.

Friends say that no matter what, he is still your Dad. However, in my heart, how much I care for him, I guess that would not really change my point of view towards my own Dad. That is why I told myself from young, not to follow his footsteps; not to gamble, not to owe others money, not to smoke, learn to care my love ones more.

Since I've taken up my job, I have thoughts of the aftermath if such ugly incidents would occur within the family again. I have no idea what would be the solution but if one day, if justice has to be done, I am willing to do the unthinkable against the one I care.

Thanks to the World Cup, this is a firm decision I guess I've made. If things are out of control, I will do the justice for the family.

I am evil but for the sake of this family, for the sake of my family's future, I will do what is supposed to do. If that happens one day, "Sorry, Dad..."